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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
05-12-05, 05:23 PM
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#1
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Peace, Love, Unity
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"Past to Present"
IP: AB23 98FF
I wrote it to "Dear Summer" by Jay-Z Relationship ups and downs, Although most collapse, I got a few stories to tell, Let me show you the past... I've shortened a few relationships, a pinch of the portion, Where my bitch was annoyin, not a very fortunate youth, tortured the few you been with, being unfortunates true, Reconsidering my thoughts, actually it was more than a few, Wish i had known the result of an attempted abortion, Before spendin a fortune tryna believe i'm important to you, Behind those innocent lines is a criminal mind and, I was blinded cause I've never seen someone as gorgeous as you, Reminded every so often... you've been paintin an image, Let me sit at the table a minute, as you forgin the truth, But absorbin the truth hurts worse than psyhical pain, Little remains that feels worse than being broken in two, Theres little to gain... when everythings in the drain, Feelin ashamed, women deranged, and simply hopeless too.. Relationships my collapse, But this one I won't let it, I got a few stories to tell, Let me show you the present... Picturing them beautiful eyes, the original perfect couple, Cause when Kirks in trouble, an angel is you in disguise, Take 2 and divide it by one, continues to be 2 genius, So when someone get between us its still you by my side, Not cloudin my sight to know that forever you'll stay, With a relationship that never fades in and out like the tides, Simply stays the same, so before we change your name, Lets promise that we'll remain the same while never doubting our ties, My angel coming out from the skies, and if shes crowded with lies, I hope she asks me if its true before pouting her eyes, She knows i'd be loyal to her, and trust me before rumors and, My baby girl can humor them... she knows the truth from the lies, Who right in their mind would give up such a deliteful and kind, Girl whos also sweet, and through the months is rightfully mine, Shes frightened at times, but she know i want her so long, And if loving hers wrong... then baby im likin these crimes... Structure is wack, I know. But don't hate the style. If you don't understand how I was flowin to it then don't even bother posting feedback. Just basically speaking of my last girl compared to my new one. http://community.rapverse.com/showp...19&postcount=13
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 88 miles per hour should do it. |
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05-12-05, 08:02 PM
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#2
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Peace, Love, Unity
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IP: AB23 98FF
 uppppppiiinnnn
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88 miles per hour should do it. |
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05-12-05, 09:05 PM
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#3
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IP: 0AE0 3B1A
this was a pretty decent drop.. nice structure
good imagery,... your structure was goood You had nice wordplay , and good vocab .. You had Nice feeling and good emotions.. This was one of your best om's keep it up , not the best but it was good..
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The Competition
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05-13-05, 12:03 AM
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#4
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Sam Dope
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IP: AD23 BDD5
Wow...
Best shit Ive ever read, and thats on everything...1000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0/fuckin 10...this was fuckin dope as fuck man...Really beautiful...Im feelin this shit... omg Good shit!!!!!!!!!! |
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05-13-05, 07:47 PM
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#5
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Peace, Love, Unity
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IP: AB23 98FF
uppin..........
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88 miles per hour should do it. |
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05-14-05, 12:00 PM
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#6
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Peace, Love, Unity
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IP: AB23 98FF
god damn it... uppin.....
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88 miles per hour should do it. |
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05-14-05, 12:14 PM
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#7
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Geaux Fuck Yourself
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IP: 9F49 836F
This was your best open mic...
8.5/10 Very good bro.
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King of Missouri I Fucked Mack's Mom. And I Liked It. -[p-S-a]- 2003-2009 Quote:
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05-14-05, 12:26 PM
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#8
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IP: 3881 400B
Hot shit, structure was good. But the message and rhyme scheme was really damn good. Good job, fav lines:
Reconsidering my thoughts, actually it was more than a few, Wish i had known the result of an attempted abortion, Before spendin a fortune tryna believe i'm important to you, Nice drop..
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i'm bored. |
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05-14-05, 05:17 PM
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#9
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Light Weight
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IP: 20B2 DF4A
9/10
verrrryy good shit onestep I hope she asks me if its true before pouting her eyes, She knows i'd be loyal to her, and trust me before rumors and, My baby girl can humor them... she knows the truth from the lies, Who right in their mind would give up such a deliteful and kind, Girl whos also sweet, and through the months is rightfully mine, Shes frightened at times, but she know i want her so long, And if loving hers wrong... then baby im likin these crimes... ^^--- ur best lines right there keep this up! reppin og's 
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OptimisticallyGenius 
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05-14-05, 05:37 PM
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#10
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..Rv Sucks..
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IP: CE10 8C0C
this shit was dope man.......it was full of good emotions.......your structure wasnt as bad as your puttin it up to be........i like the rhyme scheme........everyone keeps sayin its the best one you dropped......and i sorta agree....its kinda hard tp pick cuz you had some dope ones besides this one......keep it up fam
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05-14-05, 07:36 PM
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#11
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~*This Worldz A Sin So Why Hate Me For My Habits~*
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IP: 0825 899A
shyt was hot!liked the way u hit it up! my opinion is u sik cuz!(9/10)`( i read it 3 timez N still cant get enough we need some more of that in open mic! holla Atcha boy
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"This Worlds A Sin So Why Hate Me For My Habits"-Gh0st-
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05-15-05, 12:43 AM
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#12
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Metropolis
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IP: B52C 6258
this was a hot drop here. some good emotional bars in there and some decent imagery could have used some more of that. rhyme scheme was fine, and flow was on point.
i give it a 9/10 because overall it was hotness, just need some fine tuning i liked this section right here Take 2 and divide it by one, continues to be 2 genius, So when someone get between us its still you by my side, Not cloudin my sight to know that forever you'll stay, With a relationship that never fades in and out like the tides, ^^that was my fav part of the joint. i like the change up in the rhyme scheme it made it more unique in its on style n shit, keep doin ya thing....1... |
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05-15-05, 10:52 AM
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#13
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Peace, Love, Unity
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IP: AB23 98FF
uppin..........
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88 miles per hour should do it. |
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05-15-05, 12:43 PM
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#14
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New to RV
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IP: AA3D 56EB
damn that was dope he spittin that Crack
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THE ART OF WAR 
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05-15-05, 04:24 PM
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#15
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Peace, Love, Unity
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IP: AB23 98FF
uppin.................
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88 miles per hour should do it. |
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