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Old 08-15-05, 09:51 PM   #1
Ysdat
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Rv's multi king

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check my perfect picture like some purchased liquor im the perfect figure
your spitting worthless scriptures so wak you dont deserve this mixture
watch your thoughts die violently,you try silently like discrestion's admired
I guess you lesson's desired im leaving you choking like your messing with wire,
if this was a job then im guessing your fired
Im spitting verbal abuse while this herb will just use a feeble excuse
These rhymes are like a needle once used,leaving you with an internal bleed or just bruised
so lets ....back track the crack sack this whore acts wak
You extract black yet lack dack to clap back.


with each mic grip..each night rip...each mind slip ...bitch eat my dick


-YSD@-

P.S

DIE!
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Old 08-15-05, 10:22 PM   #2
noname
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Ok...well...you had flow.....stayed constant throughout the whole thing.And the vocab was good.So props on that.

But...your multis were forced.Which is what I expected.As the title shows...you based your whole verse on multis.Which is a big no-no.And when you have forced multis..you have bland content.Didn't seem like you were sayin anything either.

Overall-4/10

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=204478
^^don't be a fag...I read ur shit and left feedback didn't I?
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Old 08-15-05, 10:24 PM   #3
Ysdat
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^ . ^
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Old 08-15-05, 10:29 PM   #4
noname
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^.^


right back at ya....
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Old 08-15-05, 10:38 PM   #5
Ysdat
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what a dork -_-
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Old 08-15-05, 10:46 PM   #6
Kawn Flixx
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Drop a link fool!
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Old 08-15-05, 10:51 PM   #7
noname
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ysdat
what a dork -_-



not returning favor...what a fag -_-
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Old 08-15-05, 10:58 PM   #8
Germ
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your feedback was retarded.....this was a multi verse, hence the title.........thats why it was solely based with multies.....

smh.....anyways, i liked it, job line was coo....i didn't like the last line though :S
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Old 08-15-05, 11:01 PM   #9
noname
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Drakel
your feedback was retarded.....this was a multi verse, hence the title.........thats why it was solely based with multies.....

smh.....anyways, i liked it, job line was coo....i didn't like the last line though :S



I know it was sopposed to show off multis....but he forced it in my opinion.
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Old 08-15-05, 11:08 PM   #10
Germ
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yes, but you were like......"your verse was all multies, which is a big no-no"

like wtf? how is it a big no-no? you're not a pro......too many kids these days think they know what they are talking about.....all you had to say was

" i think some of your multies were forced, but overall, it was decent for multies....try and expand your rhyming horizon though"

like that should have been your feed,
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Old 08-15-05, 11:14 PM   #11
noname
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^^he did base his shit on multis.....it is a no-no...because...everyone knows ya can't just put multis outta nowhere like that.

Ya gotta know what it is your saying...then incorparate that with rhyme scheme.

Yea..I ain't no pro in multis..but even I know ya can't just write down multis and put em together without saying a damn thing.

Shit...and ysdat had to get sensitive on me...
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Old 08-15-05, 11:22 PM   #12
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ok let me hit you in thead with some multi's

look i'm reaching flagrant wearing bleaching agent like MICHAEL JACKSON I'm a psycho in action with a clever clever plan down in never never land my luck bend while i tuck in cats // tower to height in quota wearing a flowerlike odor got power like Yoda so the force be with me its a gift G
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Old 08-16-05, 12:12 AM   #13
Germ
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^ yo, thats why you havn't passed gr.2 yet
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Old 08-16-05, 12:21 AM   #14
MADDRAPPER
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Drakel only thing wrong with that is your ass can't write that feel me?
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Old 08-16-05, 12:58 AM   #15
Germ
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MADDRAPPER
Drakel only thing wrong with that is your ass can't write that feel me?


well, normally....i dont write things with my ass

but you're comparing your rhymes to me writing with my ass....seriously...

wtf?
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