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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
11-14-05, 11:04 PM
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#1
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New to RV
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please critique my stuff
IP: 352B 2918
It was monday mornin' up at dawn
yawnin' same old uniform im sportin' Poptarts for breakfast same old erectness this lifestyle is so infectious head off pack some shelves wish they'd unpack themselves Doin' it to stand on my own two feet just to make my ends meat Come home to the same home grown given that relaxed feeling to my dome I spark an spark some more till im seein hore's butt naked on my floor Start driftin' into a deep sleep drop the weed on my sofa seat man im beat Wake up screamin am i in hell with fuckin' forked demons? am i dreamin? No! my house is on fire its all haywire fire burning down my damn empire Takin' a leap through the nearst window faster than a ford pinto creating a winnow |
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11-15-05, 01:30 AM
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#2
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IP: 2029 97B3
Alright Verse Was Cool..Rhyme Scheme Sucked Though Work On That Fam...Also Work On Vocab...Structure Was Decent Delivery Came Well Nice Going Man
__________________
Knock Out Stroke
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11-15-05, 01:36 AM
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#3
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Light Weight
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IP: 2029 97B3
ima tell u like i told da other guygood flow but too original n plain n simple howeva ya see it but nice drop holla
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11-15-05, 10:56 PM
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#4
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Hell yeah
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IP: C6C0 C830
yes man like i told you on msn, this is pretty good, and if you want people to read your thread, you have to up it iight
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