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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
11-13-05, 05:00 PM
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#1
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-Giving Up A Piece-
IP: 8D90 9AAC
A Keystyle Check It
. . . . . My words tear ego's like wind down a tunnel, As i walk on the low a paper shredder i mumble, See a dead seagull contomplate my words stumble, Was killed by my skill when it felt the earth rumble, Waters open and spread to the side ego's crumble, Oponnents bow after a tragic loss and a tumble, Cause if they not ready i take em out when i rumble, They cant see the size of my skill im Briant Gumble, Well good mourning america i got the news for the day, And in no way does it have to do with The Q. being gay, The news is a pretty big newsince, Every time i rap people see illusions, So who knew you took hallucinogens, Right before you went on a coaster again and again, The mental images are fragrent in mind, So with that being said i must leave this peice behind. . . . . thanks for reading.....peayce |
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11-13-05, 05:05 PM
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#2
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IP: 2029 97B3
Uh Oh's He's Back Lol...Nice Piece Man Delivery Was Nice...Rhyme Scheme Was Meh...Could Work On That A Little...Vocabulary Was Nice...Alot Of Words That's Hard To Find A Rhyme With Which Is Nice Always...Good Piece...Brought It Well...Keep It Up Hommie!
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Knock Out Stroke
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11-13-05, 05:23 PM
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#3
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IP: 8D90 9AAC
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11-13-05, 05:24 PM
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#4
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IP: 8D90 9AAC
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11-15-05, 12:07 PM
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#5
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Middle Weight
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IP: 11AF 50EC
uhm yea nice poem overall....uhm cant find da rhyme scheme.....vocab was good tho......need to realllllllllllllly work on da rhyme a lil bit....otha than dat....good job
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11-15-05, 11:16 PM
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#6
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IP: 8D90 9AAC
Quote:
. . . . you obiously have no idea what you talking about........but anyway thanks for dat feed....uppin |
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11-16-05, 07:59 AM
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#7
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Middle Weight
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IP: 11AF 50EC
i know wat im talkin bout....i know my poetry nigga plz.....n u do need to work on da rhyme just cause none of it was flowin(too me newayz) damn...u mean u got some end rhyme in there but da bout it...n dats just too common...work on a lil internal rhyme, dat helpz
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11-28-05, 05:10 PM
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#9
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Poet's Daughter.
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IP: B0FC ACE8
Alright, this was good for a keystyle. Something lacked in it though, can't actually put my finger on it. The metaphor in the first line was catchy and it made me read more. Toward the ending it became boring. The concept is good, could've been more creative, but none the less its all good. You had a good balance in your vocab. good poem for a keystyle.
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mystery Is a Freak!! ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life. Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8 ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do. Smartone Freal:  ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged* |
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