man everyone says they got it bad, they cant make noting outta them-self, people always wanna sell or try drugs then get locked up and you think gold and money is everything? NAH You Got Shit ALL FUCKED UP


there so many danm problems in this world, whos gonna solve them
everyday another boy turns into a man, then jail desolve-him
how you expect to grow if people always wanna see you down?
how would life be if there was no-one willing to bust da-pound
how that sound? like a life only the dead can see
because between you and me, there aint much left to try and be
maybe a druggy, getting drunk ryding a buggy, you thug me?
never, you'll have to catch me sleep'in, only-way you'll slug-me
but trust me, that'll be happening around the time lil kim turns to a nun
and the kids dont have to smoke for fun, and carry bladez in a buns
every-man in this world is easy to maintain with BUNS AND TITS
but in the projects, we use to geting knock like drums with sticks
never run from pricks...... just make runs with bricks
take 5 hun!... then continue to have fun suck'in my dick
and when it comes to spray'in-nuts i dont need your daugther
gun? i got plenty of Bucks, you couldnt change with 4 quaters
so dont waste my time with your million dollers shyne
cuz i'll act like DIDDY, and place it on LOCK-DOWN like jail-TIME
people say i faile at rhymes, sometimes i even fell at times
had a serious car wreck, doc said i had to re-train my mind
but i always get back up and start fresh like a tyson fight
hard hitting, quick dipp'in, easy to hop around juggling mic's
my balance is right, my style is tight, am all in the hype
if my lips was big enough... i'll kiss all of you BITCHES GoodNight
now life to me is being seen in a different aspect
where there aint no hoes and bitches dont need there ass-wet
a couple of my peoples droping there fire-arm
and family ties are un-notted, and kids happy the job hierd-mom,
just make sure like a braclet you stay by her arms
and keep ya father calm, cuz thats when things go wrongs
he picks up a bottle, dont drink it, but use it for DISAPLIN
then you go out killing man, but BE REAL, in hes face you'll never be DISS'IN-HIM
and hes your maker, so keep that in mind next-time you WISH'IN-SINS
WORD

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NOT TO BE FUCKED WITH!!!!

This piece was aight in my opinion. Nothin really special. Ive seen this type of topic done a lot so im kinda tired of it, no offense to u tho. Ur structure was ok the lines for me seemed a little bit stretch, but its all good, u might be able to say it over a beat. And ur vocab was kinda simple in a lot of places and the imagery was ok. Like i said b4 the lines seem a lil stretched so the flow was ok. I was i saw more multies in this to make it flow better and more interal rhyming. My favorite bar was:

my balance is right, my style is tight, am all in the hype
if my lips was big enough... i'll kiss all of you BITCHES GoodNight

i thought that was pretty good. Well keep it up man, and pls RTF on Runnin'. Peace.

thanks man, i really didnt work on this, i just had a beat and figuer i would put anything that comes i mind down and put it in open mic thanks for your feed back i will RTF in a couple of min pal

but i do have this one open ic i have been working on for A LONG ASS TIME
BUT SINCE MEMESIS AND MYSTIC CHAOS AND YADAT havent got back to me with there verse im gonna do that open mic SOLO,

i will drop it in a few min, then you can leave feed back,
i promiss my next drop will be better and on a topic not just free-writing

__________________
NOT TO BE FUCKED WITH!!!!