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Old 12-29-05, 02:14 AM   #1
lil S
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From: La Crosse
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what suicide gets ya

IP: 5368 034F

have your ever seen some one sever there head
20 minutes latter and still they an't dead
squirming in a blood puddle in which they have bled
looking for a gun to let go of some lead
but of course you just couldn't see
don't you wish you can be a corpse just like me
soon you will see it ain't easy to see
sence youve been blind from the age of just three
seriously but it dont ever matter
falling in pieces as my relationship shatter's
tattered by flawles dreams regardless it' seems
spreading open the legs to ingarden my seeds
sending out juices and harden white streams
startin the steam off in the mist dead people i seen
ass i relized im in hell draggin my head eyes clickin like bells
what is that smell it's burning flesh everyone naked or sitting in mesh
i guess god never liked me lightly stab my heart most likely mightbe
the next one thrown in the pit close enough for the red demon to girp
rip of both of my limbs hell is internally eternally life suffering

Last edited by lil S : 12-30-05 at 11:17 PM.
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Old 12-30-05, 11:18 PM   #2
lil S
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Posts: 201
Joined: Apr 2005
From: La Crosse
Status: Offline
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IP: 5368 034F

uppin.................................uppin....... ..................uppin........................... .uppin
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Old 12-31-05, 12:10 AM   #3
¤ÐÅž¤
leave you rest'n pz's
 
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Posts: 4,321
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IP: A0F2 0238

you lost me in your content...what suicide gets you"..?
this verse lacked justifications towards your title
didnt seem like you put alot of effort into it..
vocab was average...just try n hold a direction n keep
the readers interested ...try puns/wordplay/meta's
dont just write...THINK...
no hate man
__________________
i'll play on ya consience, ya contents is complete nonsense
speak of biting, then you fucks flip everyone of my damn concepts
what the fuck, was you high..?
did you think i wouldn't recognize lines that i made
then you come up some bullshit tryna prove that im gay...!
.
.
fake fucks..move on...!
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