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Old 02-13-06, 10:01 PM   #1
scanz
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styles from another world.

IP: CF86 0039

im layin down in my bed. thoughts drift in 2 my head.
all these raps are comin 2 me and im bout 2 shead.
im in a daze. almost as if im in another faze.
my mind is so cloudy and its coverd in haze.
im takin over. this is like a new makeover.
a new me tryin 2 crumble like a bulldozer.
these arent my raps. i think i need a map.
2 get threw my own mind and excape these traps.
somethin is inside me. no longer S to the Z.
there is a demon twistin and turnin inside of me.
this is somethin i cant control. like a political poll.
this demon is tryin 2 take over a devour my soul.
i got to fight back. cus there is nuttin i lack.
ima get ready and go out on a full attack.
but wait, wuts this i cant control my thoughts.
this demon is sayin that he cant be caught.
could this be the end? well that all depends
if this demon is my enemy or a so called friend.
well im given nu raps. and ive filled the gaps.
but now i feel ima explode like a radiator cap.
busting open and lyricly just exploding.
this is no longer text but now an encoding.
tryin 2 crack this code that got me in a nu mode.
blowin clips against a demon and waitin 2 reload.
these arent my styles. and these arent my smiles.
im being judged in my own mind, like im at some trial.
but out of the blue, i start raping something new.
somethin that is mine and so lyricly true.
and now i found my self in a stage with this demon.
and we both raping for all the same reasons.
he wants to take control. and i want wut he stole.
and this is my body, my mind and my own soul.
so were now breakin it down, with new styles in hand.
i got to over power him and get wut i demand.
so after 3 long hours, i finally devour.
the demon is gone and im back 2 full power.
those styles were good. but my are still greater.
no demon can take wut i made as creator.
so im back to this mood. back in my world.
no longer messing with styles from another world.
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Old 02-13-06, 10:15 PM   #2
Ebircs
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jesus christ...

buy a voul and a vocab to go with it...

im layin down in my bed. thoughts drift in 2 my head.
all these raps are comin 2 me and im bout 2 shead..............lol


Quote:
Originally Posted by scanz
head.
shead.
daze. faze.
haze.
takin over. makeover.
a new me tryin 2 crumble like a bulldozer.
these arent my raps. i think i need a map....LOL need a map??
2 get threw my own mind and excape these traps.
somethin is inside me. no longer S to the Z.
there is a demon twistin and turnin inside of me.
this is somethin i cant control. like a political poll. ...wow...great meta their man..awsome wordplay to

this demon is tryin 2 take over a devour my soul.
i got to fight back. cus there is nuttin i lack....basic as shit


and basicly it jus keeps going like that..you'd think it got better...but you'd b wrong...
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Im not as much of a pimp as Ebircs.....man if you still with O.Y.D. You should branch off into O.H.D. into the porn business. With Owning Her daily. Ebircs....Biggest pimp on RV.
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Old 02-13-06, 10:20 PM   #3
Journal!st
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just up ur structure omes and vocab but not bad homes..........................................kee p doing ur thang homes.
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Old 02-14-06, 02:34 PM   #4
scanz
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ud think i notice small typos like that shit lol, no biggie ill change it later.
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Old 02-14-06, 02:43 PM   #5
H.D.
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www.m-w.com yo go there it's litterally the online dictionary... I use it to spell check and make sure I'm using words correctly... boost up your vocab... because this is very limited... after you do that, do more interlocking rhymes, and try rhyming several syllalbles at a time... and everything should easily improve for you... aight keep trying 1...

*Vanishes*
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Old 02-14-06, 03:18 PM   #6
Critic
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Wasn't really feeling this to be fair, when I see a verse droped with 2's and
really poor vocab I can't be fucked to drop decent vocab,....

You need to step your game up and proof read, get a dictionary out and
study words and it's meanings.

Elevate !!! No hate but this was poor.

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Old 02-14-06, 03:19 PM   #7
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That was a bit harsh !! stay up and keep writing it will come.

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Old 02-14-06, 08:21 PM   #8
Kawn Flixx
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Drop two links or this will be closed
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Old 02-16-06, 09:28 AM   #9
Vortex
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decent.. vocab was ok.. not great.. but ok.. and worked well enuff.. rhymes got a bit basic.. but did have some cool rhymes as well.. flow format was good.. showed a glimpse of good imagination...i prefer to see some more multies...could of done with a bit more deeper concepts involved.. or make the concept come thru a bit clearer with emotion

decent still

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