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Old 09-26-06, 08:19 PM   #1
Dufflebag Boy
why so serious!!??
 
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god's perspective on followers

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The happyness of mine's evicted gone from this state of mind
and now depression kicked in through this waste of time
scars show from self infliction i'd be fake ta say im fine
light fades heaven comes in vision but i have ta wait in line
suddenly someone appears before me just when i was questionin fate
heard a faded "son im sorry" i was dead and this wasnt fake
i wasnt quite sure of it but i think i seen the lord
he said there is no rewordin it my life was cut short
lived far from what perfect is and i didnt want more
my memory was clouded but i remember death
angels left me sorrounded my mind drown from regrets
a kid rejected from society and soon ta be heaven too
god waved goobye to me and said "hell is where im sendin you"
i screamed "why ya lie ta me i never questioned you!!"
"you just lied ta me you never quit pretending to
be somebody you not cuz it leaves me ashamed
luckily i never forgot that you always left me blamed
i gave you your indivduality but you never used it
you hid from reality and you abused it


sorry if i just stopped there but i wrote this last night be4 i went ta bed
and yea i know the structure and flow might not be perfect
i didnt quite write it to a beat but tell me what ya'll think

links: http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=235202

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=235282
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Last edited by Mindstate : 09-26-06 at 08:25 PM.
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Old 09-26-06, 08:30 PM   #2
Yvonne
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ok here


i liked the vocab..it was decent...flow was iight..thi is the first drop i've eva seen from u...and i must say u quite gd...umm struture was iight too...and umm yeh i was feeling topic...u stayed atleast on pointwith it!...keep em coming bruh...


1
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Old 09-26-06, 08:43 PM   #3
Paranoid
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seems like somin I'd make a song with. good lyrics for a freeverse, flow is there and the voca is there. some decent multiples in there. storyline is pretty good. overall nice drop son. 1
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Old 09-27-06, 12:38 AM   #4
Dufflebag Boy
why so serious!!??
 
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cool thanx for the feed ya'll feelin the luv feelin the luv
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Old 09-27-06, 01:12 AM   #5
allikwarawkilla
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yo yvonne id expect at least u would peep my i mean i did help u at 1 time...n e ways short simple but nice drop like yaword play keep postin
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Old 09-28-06, 11:46 PM   #6
Dufflebag Boy
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UPPIN THIS SHIT MUTHAFUCKAS
or im gon be forced ta take ur mother out on a nice seafood dinner
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Old 10-02-06, 02:57 AM   #7
Dufflebag Boy
why so serious!!??
 
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uppin..........
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