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05-09-07, 05:22 AM | #1 | |||||||
New to RV
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first open mic post!!!!
IP: 266E CC15
ima jus key it!!!an i love honesty...dont be shy!!!!
non stop like perpetual motion,stingin like a bee like a butterfly im floatin man these bars are potent,poisen for your mind so i hope ya ears aint open realness'll have u overdosin,cuz the truth u suk be leavin ya heart 2 broken bitch niga's b soft spoken,bullets to thay mouth leave the casket closin foes aint picked mane they chosen, put on slabs, relitives like "man he frozen" so know wen'to give up for the gat starts blowin' death on the blok is non stop,dont know how deep u is till u get popped neva think youll get shot, till u relize the slug in ya chest is real hot an a bullet give a fuk if u like it or not,and dont care if its in a life alterin spot dead before you know it ya casket is dropped,while ur in hell like why did i bust dat knock............. feedbak please Last edited by MoutH : 05-09-07 at 05:25 AM. Reason: spellin yo! |
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05-09-07, 11:43 AM | #2 | |||||||
New to RV
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IP: 266E CC15
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3165812
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=242129 Last edited by MoutH : 05-09-07 at 11:44 AM. Reason: links |
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05-09-07, 11:49 AM | #3 | |||||||
Flyweight
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IP: 33E3 44D7
nice multi's think I'm bout to drop sum..... but it's always good to see somebody use multi's... smh @ myself talkin like multi rappers are dead..... but anyways nice vocab... keep writing man
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I'm Sicker Than Tha Plauges That God Sent Moses-Chosen |
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05-12-07, 10:01 AM | #4 | ||||
..........
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IP: 26FC 8E94
nice for it being short...i like the wordplay u had going...~1~
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05-29-07, 07:59 PM | #5 | |||||
Escaped Cannabalism Emcee
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IP: 1239 F408
could use quite a bit of work, as far as structure goes, flow and everything, lyrics were bleh...keep up.
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..Trust me, the rumors were true....you dont got a fucking chance. .. Honors ..Jan 2007 Superior Cypher .. ..May 2007 Superior Cypher .. |
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05-30-07, 11:28 AM | #6 | ||||||
Banned: Biting
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IP: F8E7 734B
flow was decent.. multis was decent...
a few played lines and few raw lines... all around decent drop.... RTF |
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05-31-07, 02:23 PM | #7 | |||||
don't try.
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IP: 0825 899A
Yea needs alot of work..ya bars were strecthed, ya had some okay multi's..lyrics were blahh...there was no flow..and structure was bad.
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Fear |
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06-02-07, 08:14 AM | #8 | ||||
New to RV
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IP: 28C6 6FAC
exactly what homo said above me..lol he's gonna be pissed when he reads this. but uhh..yea needs some work..ya need to work on ya structure n flow dude..maybe sum better vocab
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top C krit.
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06-10-07, 05:11 PM | #9 | |||||||
New to RV
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IP: 80E8 73D6
i liked it ur multis are tight man, da punchlines could of been a little stronger but overall it was a good peice of work look out for my verse called FameAss
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Im just startin to get in the Swing of usin Keys for a bar & how ironic im throwin them same keys in your mommas Jar! |
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06-11-07, 01:54 PM | #10 | |||||||
New to RV
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IP: 3FB9 03A1
Work on it... You just need to play with that cadence and get little more rhythm in it. Basically all you got is some rhymin worda that don't go together to well. If you want it to flow right think to yourself "Is this something I would actually say?" like if you were going to say "Man my money's so right" but you wanted to squeeze it in by sayin "Man, so right is my money" it just won't work
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Bet the dice if you're ready to gamble............... |
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06-12-07, 12:01 AM | #11 | |||||
Human Crack in The Flesh.
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IP: E895 4CD7
Yeah good use some work...but its okay...i guess...its to complicated....Adopt my new style and keeps things simple with a 'twist' of subliminal intellulect...ya dig...
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