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Old 02-20-03, 10:41 PM   #1
zakariasis
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Question a litl' sumtin

IP: 5153 3B92

this emcees the hand up mona lisas dress/
not an ease to see me nor beat thee obsessed/
on the sentence/, please to repent, lyrically blessed/
to spiritually messed posessed advocate/
a straight resurect/ devils son to take the best/
and let the pitifull rest in graves of pests/
from a plauge confessed/ and said by ritual lips to beget/
bliss with horrific evil intent/
I wave four bent specific/ and one up left passed the index/
call me kanevil mixid with/ a little less common sense/
at raves i steel to save ta myself the kegs/
savor to crave wealth with intellect,/ wisdom for self, of a select mind set/
Ill behave tame and fine unless/
I find some lame/ I LEFT behind Emcee try to tempt me/
handover the m-p/
and ya demand your damned envy/
lucifers sent me/
to vent in speeds/ un comprehent by the most superior gene/
I underwent training in comedy,/
when I PUNCH lines harder then cris farley/
I never have no means though for being nosey/
its just not that necesary when the adrenalin flows me/
with word weoponary my specialty/, /
im spinnin verbs to wack writers like L-p's
with no recognition /
spittin coniption fits/ wit not a hint of loss/
only limitin to look at winnin/
Fuck the boss/ on, your book im pissin/
yall dismissin hooks like fishin women/
yall should cook, and leave spittin to the less timid/
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Old 02-21-03, 09:13 AM   #2
supreme slayer
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yo dis has got a good flow rhythmically, but lyrically it seems you are in places tryna find any line that rhymes. just think a lil longer about your rhymes before you write them but keep spittin the lyrics.
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Old 02-21-03, 10:31 AM   #3
ehustle
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wack.i aint feelin this a bit
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Old 02-21-03, 12:28 PM   #4
endovidualmind
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exactly^

your bars are un-structured, flow is lacking, your ideas seem all over the place and yea your just writing words because they rhyme.. pick a topic, stick to it and think your shit through,cause this was wack!!!
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Old 02-21-03, 10:57 PM   #5
The 13th Apostles
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"My 2 Cents..."

IP: 399E F0FD

The bars were to sloppy, not constructed well enough, I suggest you focus on the key elemants of hip hop lyrics...Flow, Construction, Delivery...then worry about uppin your vocab an tryin to come with deep shit...because you need to be able to wite before you can put words together...feel me? So worry about gettin a flow you're confortable with...then get your vocab...then make a rep...whatever you're best at, stick to it son....

Stay spittin......

P.E.A.C.E.
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