my 1st full peice, i was thinking bout chaging the 2nd verse or moving a few lines about. anyway see what u think, reply with constructive critisim pls.

charging me up, the friction of hate//
all this anger making me irate//
this anger in me does me some harm//
stickin these knives into my arm//
make my hand turn blue//
like how I feel, not you//
givin me an adrenaline-rush//
wanna turn your face to skin-mush//
1 punch, break your stud-nose//
on the pavement, your blood-flows//
not the way I chose//
just the way it goes, I suppose//

[chorus]
livin on this planet of hate//
too much shit, can't it wait?//
wish I could just wake up//
take this shit off like make up//
[end chorus]

shits bad for my health//
makes me start to fuck up myself//
a self-assault//
it aint ur fault?//
I'll fight you, got nothin to lose//
you lit me, I'm a burning fuse//
started me ages ago//
still waiting to blow//
alls I gaurantee//
is I'll take you down with me//
aint scared to follow a threat//
put the pressure on, make you sweat//

[chorus]

make me feel psycho//
my reasons right though//
all this insane obstruction//
leadin me to plain destruction//
cuz mum never gave me enough-hugs//
doctors put me on tough-drugs//
stop me from flippin out//
and ripping you inside out//
arm pop out like steel on a spring//
nothin to say, you feel the sting//
hit the floor, oh shit your dying//
serves you right bitch for lying//

[chorus]

Not feeling it. Lyrics were awful, wording was horrendus. Flow was off. Content was okay.

Can you give some examples or something? Wanna know where i can improve n stuff

uppin' for constructive critisism