Yo, this probably the only time I'm gon do this... I'm reposting this piece cause last time it pretty much got ignored... and I was looking forward for some feedback.... check it!

Hey yo suppose you wrote something but the crowd wasn’t feeling it,
suppose u poured your heart out but they said that u weren’t real with it,
suppose acceptance was rejected, could u deal with it?/

Now look within yourself,
would u simply put your pad back in your shelf?
or would u write a better verse,
and kick those noises to the curve,
without giving a fuck about the voice of someone else?/
like the critics, of your lyric,
would u let it break your spirit, or in minutes,/
would u let it demise,
now what you should realize,
is that not all who criticize,
will aim to maim your pride...

Dawg we all make mistakes,
that’s why pencils can erase,
that's why keyboards got backspace,
the only one that’s really fake,
takes that permanent break,
without trying cause of negative rates,/
Now tell me are u like that,
or would u fight back,
and step back where the mic at,/
you put your verse on exhibition,
so envision this decision,/
would u cover up or keep showing,
would u stop or keep going,
still knowing some gon’ talk about the way u flowing…

When they tell u that it’s hot do u feel pleasure,
and if they told u to do better then that would u feel pressure,
ever think the level that they want is hard to measure,
knowing what they want is only treasure,/
a jewel, a gem, that tops the top ten,
with skill that don’t ends,
Now there's no need to pretend.../
this a personal obstacle,
our peer’s verbal hostile-call,
but is that really possible?/
Think about it at the end how will it be,
a type of question I can’t answer for you, and you can’t answer for me…

Whether u rap in the net or if u rap on the street,
whether u rap acapella or if u rap with a beat,
whether u write it on screen or if write it on sheets,
the question always remains; how would deal with defeat…
Think about this shit!

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...8314#post298314
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...8317#post298317

yeah this what I'm talkin' about... no replies, damm...

hahahahahahahahahahahaha *talks too*

aiight, yeah manzo, i liked the flow of this... didn't exactly make me think... but it got the back up rhymes bubblin' that were dormant in my head, so thanks for that, i ain't even gonna talk about vocab, that's your biz... peace bro-ham slices











madd Pro


•

yo that shits tite...i like it

yeah aight, one of these two replies was constructive... thanx

Oh shit! so then I was recycling, my bad... trust, I ain't gon' do that shit again... still... I need more replies... different opinions... come on!

this joint was straight you could elevate your vocable a little and make the bars longer keep working dawg it'll be tight
~1~

true, true... vocab could have been alot better, but I was mainly trying to get my point across...