a lot of people say live life on the edge
but if we slip up parents'll rip off ya heads
fuck that shit this my life, Imma live it
accomplish a new fete everday and go to the limit
i dont like wasting my time not even a lil bit
sex is a race and imma win it
I'm in sex just for the finish, not the girls sensations
whether it takes me 10 minutes or an hour for an ejaculation
most girls arent worth the effort and force
dont let em in the house, they get fucked on the porch
make em sound like a dolphin, naah like a horse
stick it in their ass "pull the sneaky pete?", of course
it just slides in they don't quite know what to do
except take in right, and scream out "I love you"
yes its true, girls i got a few,
riding wit a new one everytime i swing through
fucked every girl in all my schools crews
got more fuckin honey then Winnie The Pooh
time to change the subject of this nice little flow
to stealin ya shit, no longer fuckin ya hoe
leave ya car unlocked with keys in the ignition
imma walkin right by.. what a profitable position
come back by, to find your car's missin
left your phone in the car, stand in the street just flippin
go home to find your house robbed and phone ringin
pick it up.. and hear your favorite artist's voice singin
as i talk on the phone drinkin ya buse as its spinning
with ya shit in my house just perfectly fit in
might get caught as the cops bust in,
but this flows endin, ain't been caught yet, or my court case is pending
or under survelience and police investigation

aight dunny i dont mean to criticise but i got to...you switched topics like 2 or 3 times in this rhyme, try to stay focused on one subject...try to make yor bars more longer and shit...plus work on your wordplay and rhyme scheme and shit nahmean...shit was aight but to tell you the truth i think you could have done better...anyways keep spittin shit dunny...one

I don't even think about bar length anymore unless it's like two-line bars or three words. Because people will ride your ass out for being too long. "I got lost"
I don't agree with that idea. If you toss some multiple rhymes in the lines they flow quick anyways.

The piece was... average... you could tell you weren't really trying to get too serious about stuff. Keep working, you'll be all right.

i was just jotting as i was bored.. see the title i got better ones on here

silly