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Old 03-29-03, 02:45 AM   #1
Phenom Il Deuce
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kryptonic like a fag, and your name is slim shady// killed ya moms then fuked her and she still had my baby// X marks tha spot, follow tha yellow brick road// get loud with me i'll swell ya fukin noes// i keep'em on they toes// they get pimpslapped like hoes// you probly saw that commin if u can read fast enough hoe// oops there it goes again// contestants step up, say hello to my little friend// ha ha... thought u had me// thoughts got real deciving when i hit u wit my caddy// keep on eye open just ta freak you out// gave ya lil sis sex ed.. and told her ta eat you out// intergalactic like extraterstrial havoc// backwards like missy niggaa ass bitch lil you panic// holla.. lol cant see.. contacts too dry..... Wun
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Old 03-29-03, 03:23 AM   #2
Tha Linez Drawn
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it's got alot of room for improvement...mainly tha topics and too many sexual comments is played...elevate and make a name for yourself...open your mind and make your brain control tha rhyme...true bravado is light years ahead of their time...It displays an attitude that is more felt and never expressed...check my piece (Elements) and you'll see what I mean...Keep rhymin' though...
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Old 03-29-03, 05:52 PM   #3
C-Section
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you this wack when your high? smoking usually makes he free better.

you basicaly need to improve everything, your using elementry rhymes

you best line was

"killed ya moms then fuked her and she still had my baby// "

but its a played line, i have heard it reworded i about 20 diffrent way
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Old 03-30-03, 01:20 AM   #4
Phenom Il Deuce
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wow.. well thanks fo tha feed bak naw i'm not wack when i'm high. i'm wack when i'm bored and high lol. i just relaly wanted ta see hwo much people sleep on this site .. wether it was worth my time.. thanks fo tah replies.. holla
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Old 03-30-03, 02:43 AM   #5
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i aint like dis dat much u got some potential though ....elevate one
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