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...Broken...
IP: 4577 CD9A
My first emotional drop to date... kinda long... and a bit exagerated... but still, check it...
Look closely at the spot where I’m at, notice the sun is shining but not where I’ve sat, I’m wondering myself what is the reason for that… Yo! Emotionally unstable I’m unable to sustain an able body, man my legs are getting wobbly, if you saw me... you would think I’m handicap, uncomfortably I’m constantly feeling like I’m falling back, and I’m choking like my head was in a little plastic bag… Man I’m falling, I’m choking, my heart’s broken, it’s open to be infected, I rejected that it ended, a lie, but truth has been injected inside, intersecting everything I denied, leaving my hopes to demise, and the darkest cloud to raise... over my head, leaving me with anger and frustration instead… This weight is breaking my shoulders, there’re so much things I could have showed her, should have told her that I loved her, but it’s over… Now a cry comes out of me but nobody can hear it, pain surges through the air but I’m the only one that feels it, I tried to make it work but alone it’s hard to deal with, there’s a great wound in my spirit and it’s gon’ be hard to heal it... Inside I’m bruising, cause I'm loosing, shit I’ve already lost, got defeated, I’ve been cheated and I feel so lost, blindly wandering and pondering how it all went for the worst, they say the truth about love, this shit hurts… It was a yes or no question, it got answered with a no so now I’m facing some frustration, cause I’m guessing... that no doubt there’s someone else, and I’m stressed cause of this mess, I got my self in, keeping silent isn’t helping, so I write to keep from stressing, and recite without rehearsing… See the heart, not the mind, is controlling these rhymes, and now reflecting on the times, when she used to be mine, is just effecting mind, in negative way, and I’m rejecting the signs that our hearts flew astray, what can I say... one day with her felt like forever, one day we were together, and now it’s like it never happened, what happened, I’m starting to think whatever started, is stopping, our bond’s been collapsing, not lasting… the time that I thought it would last, and alas, it went by much to fast, man this feeling of pain is too vast... to withstand, and to long to out last… Tired of thinking, tired of hoping, it’s provoking me to do nothing, see cause something... must be done about my broken heart, this bullshit is hard, confuses stupid or smart, arrows of cupid that start it, just made me their target, but I’ve embarked in... a quest, to stop the feeling in my chest, they say this hits the best... of us, hurting us, worst of the worst this pain is murderous… Thinking to myself, man what’s the matter, fucking had her, then I shattered... our relationship, just splattered our connection with… this stubbornness, that other mess, now to resort to loneliness, I’m so depressed, I lust it, but fuck it, I’ve choked with enough emotions, provoked it with every motion, I’m done with this whole commotion… Tired of stumbling, staggering, mumbling, blabbering, about what’s happening, how I got stabbed in... the heart, it falls apart eventually, but I won’t let it get the best of me… It’s pathetic, that I let it, clog my mind and can’t forget it... Yeah I lost my baby, lost my lady, thoughts so crazy, but won’t brake me, felt the danger now these verses brought me safety/ And now a while has passed, I finally got off my ass, on the prowl for some ass, but lets look back at the past… Began to write just when my heart was swelling, it’s like my heart was yelling, just telling… a tale, of deceit and betray, but as it unveiled, my heart grew stronger from frail, now I inhale, exhale, looking with strength where I failed, putting an end to this tale… Yeah some gon’ say I write too much, or that it’s just a simple crush, but they don’t even have a hunch, cause it’s something that they’ll rarely ever touch… maybe once, maybe twice, and if they loose it bet they’ll search their whole lives… thanx for reading y'all Last edited by Alias-C : 04-04-03 at 05:35 PM. |
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IP: 618E 78B0
man,u put sum serious heart into that piece i can tell.I enjoyed readin and it wuz mad long.If i read it str8 thru then HAD to be ill,which it wuz.Ya wrote like u kno xactly wutchu wuz feelin and how to xpress em on paper.Sorry to hear its true,keep postin.Stay ^
-Avi |
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PaPeRcUt BaNdiT
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IP: 4577 CD9A
god damn kid......raw emotions.....shits tight no doubt.....emotions explodin on paper and still done wit skill..... most long verses get me noyed by the middle but this is tight.... nice to see a kat bein real in his shit
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Guest
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IP: 5153 3B92
Thanx y'all, yeah I put some heart into this one...
Let's see If I get some more feedback now... -1- Last edited by Alias-C : 04-06-03 at 07:00 PM. |
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IP: 4577 CD9A
damm, this is the one piece I really want feedback on... come on now... lol...
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Guest
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IP: 399E F0FD
damm y'all... lol... come on now...
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Registered User
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IP: 3B20 6C52
holy shyt! damn, I know just how you feel. I fell in love with a guy last year (I was 15 and he was 20)...we spent about 7-8 months together, then he left me for no reason. We had the long distance thing going on for a month, then one morning he woke up and decided he didn't love me anymore. Yeah, it sucked ass, and I've wrote piles of songs about it. Do you think you'd wanna collab on something in that subject one day??? Cause I liked this one, I was right into it, I felt it deep. Holla back. peaz.
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Guest
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IP: 399E F0FD
hey girl, maybe he realized what he was doing was illegal!... lol... nah, nah, I'm messing wit you, don't take it serious... hey girl, I feel your pain... if I hadn't gon' through it, I wouldn't get it...
Thanx for replying... oh and about that collab... nah thas aight... I don't usually post these kinda verses... this is just a one time thing... thanx anyways... |
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Guest
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IP: 5143 009F
The peice was tight but it was just too long for what you were trying to say. I really feel as tho a lot of your lines could be compressed and the message would be deeper/stronger.
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Guest
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IP: 5153 3B92
yeah... I know it was long... I think it's gettin' slept on cause of that... I should have split it in two parts... and posted them seperately... well, thanx
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Guest
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IP: 5153 3B92
Last time upping this...
come on y'all... there's enough here for y'all to comment on... lol... peace |
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.:Smoke Herbs:.
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IP: 05B0 B16C
that was deep...
i really felt it man... sorry to hear its true though... i honestly dont think it was too long... it is to long when the flow is lost half way through but you kept it goin strong... really enjoyed readin this piece... keep workin... Fiori |
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Guest
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IP: 4D18 261C
nice spit alias,deep shit,i feel you on it,as usual coming out with some illness.i fuckign hate that type of shit happenign to me,it still fucks me up when i think about it,so i felt this peice madly.nice spit.relate like what.
return the favour cat. bismillah |
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Guest
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IP: 4577 CD9A
thanx dawg... I'm actually gon' check that out right now...
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Guest
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IP: 5B9B 554F
I like it
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