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PaPeRcUt BaNdiT
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im bout to be a DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IP: 6236 079F
this is sumtin i wrote to express some emotions i had after findin out im bout to be a Dad
my pulse bursts wit the surge of a free flowin river but my heart thirst for the courage to eaze growin shivers overwhelmin emotions start swellin til oceans explode into a stream down my face cuz its seems that my fate is unknown then at this moment in time when im hopin that im, man enough somethin inside my heart cause pride to spark, flames flarin up til the burnin inside starts turnin my pride , to a devotion that soothe the emotions and truth becomes open and clear to me now its clear that these doubts and fearz i see r past reflections of ol' dads deceptions but that perception is not what i am I am not that ol' man i will stop and ill stand for what i beleive show love to my seed so he grows up to know hes worth more then gold so i store these cold, thoughtz that r caught inside as sores i hold to remind me of whats been done, so i always will love my son |
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PaPeRcUt BaNdiT
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IP: 5153 3B92
up this bitch one time before i get off for the nite..........holla back yall......i reply to too many peoples shit not to get the favor in return...........if ya like it say it if ya dont say it loud
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Guest
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
a yo micdarreal, yo bitch ......
i dont give a fuck if u goin be a dad cause u goin be one faggot that baby wished he never had, how u get a bitch when u cant even cum after i kill u, im a kill your son ha,ha,ha............. im ruthless your best friend,soilder22 |
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Guest
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IP: 5153 3B92
This was nice duke i liked every bit of it good way to express ya emotions nice job dukes 1..
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Guest
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IP: 872B E5DF
this was nice, nice vocab nice flow, you got you point out. it might have been better if i knew the feeling but i havent been there yet.
go check out mine " my light" |
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one wink
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IP: D27D 0B18
Wow, well great peace, thats known...
And congrats man. You seem to be really looking forward to it, thats great. Once again, congratulations. |
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Ya Mama's Favorite
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IP: 1039 6533
Wussup pimpin', Damn I almost was in the same position (girl's period was crazy late) but it didn't happen, but durng that time I felt this right here 'cuz thats the type of shit you be thinking. You expressed your feelings through words good, and I felt the rhyme style you was using here. Tight verse and Congrads, dog
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PaPeRcUt BaNdiT
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IP: 4577 CD9A
thankx bruklor D dizzle and the rest.....but to soldier.....take this shit to front lines if ya think ya got the skill
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Guest
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IP: 804C A7CD
Nice kidd, glad to hear that...
Quote:
The piece opened with a ![]() Quote:
I know exactly what you feel dawg, it's a great feeling, but there is the elusive feel of "what now?" It's nicely summed up here on how you feel and what your goals are to work with that, again nice flow and use of internals. Quote:
A good ending as well, the feel behind it is a good one and I liked that for the better part of this piece, the flow was more so the backbone to this piece along with the emotions you were going through, a very good piece about that... congrats man, love.. |
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PaPeRcUt BaNdiT
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IP: 4577 CD9A
damn hell of a break down fam....thankx....think thatz the longest reply i ever had...^^^^
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PaPeRcUt BaNdiT
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IP: 399E F0FD
^^^^^^^^^^^^
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Registered User
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IP: C69F 43E8
any though u played ma first rhyme i aint no hater man yo shit was deep
i was feelin it yo ma girl think she pregnant and im 15 man.keep doing yo thing |
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OriginIll
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IP: 4577 CD9A
Yo Mic... CONGRADULATIONs.... and Nice Piece too... One
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BANNED - Pink Slipped
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IP: 3648 3028
good one dog, im a father, i got a few peices out there about my son [the lil don] one of them is gettin put to a beat right now, but i have to wait till eveyones gone to record it, got ppl sleepin all the time when i awake there asleep so it dont werk out, plus i put alotta emotion into it, its to the beat of B.I.G.s ready to die, anyway, as for critique it was short, ur lines were a few sylables too lon, it didnt match werd, but it was a good drop ill up it for you
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Rhyme Ripper
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IP: 95B0 C2C4
nice shit manye, take care of ya kid yo,
con grats
__________________
D.L.W |
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