i'm just tryin to elevate i ain't tryna playa hate//
i'ma rise up to the light and try to shine what me suprise//
so go ahead and critise i need the advise//
you try to drag me down but i'll just get back up again//
i know you ain't my friend you know how to pretend//
sometimes i don't think it's worth it when people say practice makes perfect//
this is what i'm after world wide nation to nation city to city in every dome//
it's better off there then alone in ya own home//
hearin ya name on the radio stations//
while you continue in the rotation//
you won't see me creepin on ah come up cus i'm as slick as butter//
it's easy to tell if i'm lyin cus all i do is stu-st-stu-stutter//
all i ask for is help on my ryhmes but niggas never have the time//
but when they say that you know they lyin cus they ain't replyin//
they want you to resign they don't want to see another nigga shine they just gonna rob you blind//

pls give me some advise don't hate on me cus i'm new

umm vocab, its ight for a newbie, flow could be a little better...i see potential in u though...keep spitting, oh yeah if u wanna ever battle let me know, just fo fun?

u see potential cuz creepin on ah come up is written, its bone, let me look thru the rest of ur ryhme....

aight theres no other bites in it, buut the ryhme in itself is, well, 4/10, not the werst not the best, not really average either, but ur a newie, i can tell by tyhe broken flo, u have odd line ryhmes [1-3-5-7 werds that ryhme] it just doesnt sound right, maybee it sounds good audio, but i give it a 4/10

work on flows and search for an impecable form and body structure in your rhymes... other than that an overall good display of complexity in words... ride through to the end and the shots got em droppin... pz

UPZONE

a'ight thanx