battle verse for some kid called mass-quantity on another site

lofi:
http://www.soundclick.com/util/stre...?ID=338278&q=Lo

hifi:
http://www.soundclick.com/util/stre...?ID=338278&q=Hi

by the way this is my second audio ive done so im still improving lol

:-\ dnt sleep

drop ya links and i'll peep

man quit fuckin sleeping

Yeah its aiight man...That Mos beat is nice..its pretty good, you flowin alright but you just gotta come harder with the lyrics and punches man...get at that and you'll be risin up...peace...

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<center></center><center>Click Here.</center>

thanks man apreciate it

most of the stuff said was personal which is what i kinda like to du nah mean but i apreciate the advice man

hopefully i should have another song up today

damn i can't put my finger on it.. but you sound like damn.. this muthafucka i know....

well anyways... sounds like you were trying force them bars out.
like you were reading it off the screen while you were spittin..

the punches were ight... i liked some of em....


overall it was decent.

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Audio

<center>G. Buttersworth™</center>


G.I. JOE

not bad.......beat is drownin you out though.

you definetly have a voice that stands out though, with the right beat, it could really make you sound a lot better. you need a beat that has a deeper sound, like(i know it sounds corny, but i think you could rip it).....any of clipse's beats. just a suggestion, keep elevating.


peace

thanks peeps i apreciate for real im just working on a diss track for some kid from another site and its on a slightly darker sounding east side type beat

I liked this better than your other one.......yeah work on your delivery tho..........you'll sound super raw with a flawless delivery....emotion was coo but streaky.......lyrics was up and down alot......nice 2nd audio tho ......stay up and keep elevating

thanks alot bro apreciate it for real man

up

Emotion is non-existant, and you got your flow is very simple. You need to work on your delivery, so you hit snares, or close to them. The most important part about a track, don't let anyone tell you different, is the syllable count you work with. The more you have, the faster, the less, the slower. You have to find the right mix for each beat, and each concept.

This is pretty basic, like you took textcee lyrics and tossed them onto a beat. You have to change your whole steez for audio.

Offbeat flow, and emotion, work on those two things. I mean, yea, beat is louder then it should be over the vocals, but that's small. Work on the big things and the small things will smooth themselves out with a little time.

It was aiight, but I wouldn't bump it on a playlist.

Reply back - http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=46095 - It's a battle, so if you can, try to quote lines, so I know you actually listened.