this is hasn't been re-written yet or anything but just tell me what you think. hit me up and i respond to yours. {} that means do you think i should take it out.

ILL MC
Hook: Holler oohh
when i heat this up
im a school u so you can learn was up
Holler oohh
When i spit the bar
ur spits weren't good so ya spits won't go far

I take my rage out on punks who's scared of paint pellets
let my anger build till i blow like saint helens
grimey enough to taint felons
tired of squashin faint rebellions
I know u wack i heard the facts kid
every one of ur tracks get slept on like a certa matress
break me? you couldn't break laws
stop and pause
i leave cats starin in awe
like lookin at clevage from push up bra's
{i leave you lookin stupid liked getting punked in a brawl}
i do dumb things cuz my ego's to big to allow any head room
i'll catch u with an open chest like peepin toms
peekin in ya moms
bed room
ur a pretenda and a liar u ain't killing
fuck a balconly i'll leave yuo hangin off the antenna of the empire state building
bullet in ya mouth to replace ya filling
so duck if ya spot me
i kick cunts cuz they try to comprehend on how to kill a kamakazi
what you serves bland
i bomb bitches like U.S. planes to serb lands
espionage in the studio i curve plans
big enough to kick the worlds so tell me when the earth lands
{i blast this guy
lift him up so fast and high
he melts and is engulfed by half the sky
so now when it rains were partially doused in his blood
no hole has to be dug
cuz literally he was taken above}
-
If u got a crew good, bring groups bring sects
so i can leave ya nervous system lookin like train wrecks
u'll be in a box and i don't mean tv sets
or tape decks
wack flows i frown those
so if u wack change ya ways
don't wanna get served so they brown nose
so much the smell stays on their brains for days
{my hotness is branding this song}
standing alone
gripping a microphone
upfront ready to kill crews
when fo'trill spill make you unsteady you will lose
this is no new news
no rookie MC or new muse
you got this confused
when the dust settle only time will help you get unbruised
just ask my opponets
they stepped like men but left feeling like rodents
of course this is
mystical like tales from the norses
armagedonn black horses
real rap so go back
to askin what happend
to that boy in the air forces (this is a diss if you didn't catch it)
-
I put the glock to the base of ya skull to call the gun violence subliminal
i write so im literate
that must make my words literal
and of course yo
i got the hot torch flow
ill un arm you like gettin limbs chopped off of ya upper torso
tilll it aint nothin but nubs left
i use the fingernail on my pinky to measure ur sucess
pretend that you thug but you thug less
aint nothin but holes left
when i pump vests
chumps rest
when they see thier efforts are no use
like blow ups but no air
combs and no hair
nightmare but no scare
u aint got the right skill
i aint here to steal ya lime light ill let it shine then make you pay the light bill
this concept ur not graspin
ill piss on u and not have the decency to not pass you a napkin
you beating me won't happen
it don't make no damn sense like ethiopians fastin
so sit back look and gawk
ill outline ur career in chalk while flexin the wrath of the bar
on the road of life there's passengers and drivers
ur the on the side walk steppin in the path of my car

pretty good stuff
i liked the :
I know u wack i heard the facts kid
every one of ur tracks get slept on like a certa matress

i bomb bitches like U.S. planes to serb lands
espionage in the studio i curve plans
big enough to kick the worlds so tell me when the earth lands

Overall:
Ok wordplay
good flow
some lines are too short

thanks for the critique i'm glad you liked it. leave a link and i'll critique something of yours. some of the lines are short to show the rhymes but if it was something else please tell me.
___________
1 MC to serve them all

PUERTO RICAN GRINGO'S UNITE
and
remember
Real G's Own Cats

__________________
I'M ILLER THAN YOU
"Im bout to make it famous, so you can take you J-O-B and shove up your anus" -Techn9ne

"I knew god hated me, created me, and threw me on a planet thats afraid of me"-Ill Bill

"Hit bongs bigger than indoor pools
On treez like ewoks screamin "Endor Rules"-Fo'tryll

"Ur only alive till ur dead"-Royce 5'9"

www.soundclick.com/fo'trill

up

__________________
I'M ILLER THAN YOU
"Im bout to make it famous, so you can take you J-O-B and shove up your anus" -Techn9ne

"I knew god hated me, created me, and threw me on a planet thats afraid of me"-Ill Bill

"Hit bongs bigger than indoor pools
On treez like ewoks screamin "Endor Rules"-Fo'tryll

"Ur only alive till ur dead"-Royce 5'9"

www.soundclick.com/fo'trill

it was pretty decent...
you started it off pretty coo..
word paly was there..
could work on vocabualry
it didn't have a specific flow to it..
overall 6.5
OoNnEe

thanx.

__________________
I'M ILLER THAN YOU
"Im bout to make it famous, so you can take you J-O-B and shove up your anus" -Techn9ne

"I knew god hated me, created me, and threw me on a planet thats afraid of me"-Ill Bill

"Hit bongs bigger than indoor pools
On treez like ewoks screamin "Endor Rules"-Fo'tryll

"Ur only alive till ur dead"-Royce 5'9"

www.soundclick.com/fo'trill

up

__________________
I'M ILLER THAN YOU
"Im bout to make it famous, so you can take you J-O-B and shove up your anus" -Techn9ne

"I knew god hated me, created me, and threw me on a planet thats afraid of me"-Ill Bill

"Hit bongs bigger than indoor pools
On treez like ewoks screamin "Endor Rules"-Fo'tryll

"Ur only alive till ur dead"-Royce 5'9"

www.soundclick.com/fo'trill

i enjoyed it thought it had hell of potential

thank you

__________________
I'M ILLER THAN YOU
"Im bout to make it famous, so you can take you J-O-B and shove up your anus" -Techn9ne

"I knew god hated me, created me, and threw me on a planet thats afraid of me"-Ill Bill

"Hit bongs bigger than indoor pools
On treez like ewoks screamin "Endor Rules"-Fo'tryll

"Ur only alive till ur dead"-Royce 5'9"

www.soundclick.com/fo'trill

wasnt feelin it

^^^u should be specific, any way i enjoyed it. i thought it was a decent drop.

__________________
I live to die and
Destance my self to Feel
My life is an oxymoran
Like a suicide Pill

up

__________________
I'M ILLER THAN YOU
"Im bout to make it famous, so you can take you J-O-B and shove up your anus" -Techn9ne

"I knew god hated me, created me, and threw me on a planet thats afraid of me"-Ill Bill

"Hit bongs bigger than indoor pools
On treez like ewoks screamin "Endor Rules"-Fo'tryll

"Ur only alive till ur dead"-Royce 5'9"

www.soundclick.com/fo'trill

too long couldnt be fucked readin it, it was wack, some lines were decent ur just lucky ppl on RB arent as mean as me