Messin wit my click they'll be consequences and repacussions/
When we leave the rap battle my challenger got a concussion/
Got shells dat cause combustion/
As soon as a nigga pick up a mic here come da bitches/
Im young and intelligent I invest my riches/
Don't conversate wit snitches/
I spit so hard on the mic I give it contussions/
My lyrics are allusive give yo brain allusions/
Im hustlin while niggas is sittin/
I got shells dat will knock the thread out ya knitting/
I feel pity on ya weak soul/
I put a shottie to his chest when the smoke cleared his bode had a hole/
I swing hard so you can call me a body rocker/
I put slugs in yo chest where you cant breath proper/
I leave yo block in shamels/
We puff dro dont mess wit the camels/
My rhymes make people turn the volume up/
Before you battle me you should pray for good luck/
I capped yo belly and it looked like you had a tummy tuck/
Im a rider until I reach the morgue/
Im unpredictable messin wit me you dont know what you in for/
My block stay muy caliente/
I have no conscience step on my block its gon be doomz day/
You know I got to keep my flows tight/
Yo gurl blew me like scottish people blow bag pipes/

most of this was fairly basic stuff. whats a shamel? there was nothing original about the topic, and the vocab and ideas expressed were pretty elementary. use your imagination man, having an original idea is 50% of illness.

^^^^^ Like He Said, N Try To Put Ur Ideas in More Than One Sentence...... So That U Won't have To Start Every Line With "I"..................

pretty basic stuff here. you need to open up your verses to more imagery and stuff like that. right now you just keep talking without any depth.

I got shells dat will knock the thread out ya knitting/
that about the best line u had..............

yea listen to what ^^^^^^^^^^^ peeeps said

I don't know man.....just blah blah blah is all I heard.....bitches, guns, streets....that shits cool or whatever if that's how you live...but it's truly a tired topic..........gotta find something hot/original/twisted

the whole thing....it was a rap song.........but it was just monotone and boring in my mind

keep uppin your style