this is my verse to a song...its not finished yet cause i'm not sure i wanna do it. its pretty much about me usin rappin as a way out of stress and shit like that...anyway, tell me what you think


see i, struggled with hard shit
and scuffled with hardships
but through out that my character remains untarnished
i'm flawless, but nowhere close to bein perfect
see you might be uncertain from the words i've exerted
but my slurs are inverted, contridiction at its finest
see i'm worn down from the friction of mankind and
depicted by the blindness, unsure of what lies ahead
my eyes is red, late night i lie in my bed
on and off ponderin thoughts of the cost
on what it would take to unravels lifes knots
alongside with other miscellanious subjects
i leave myself subject to other peoples judgements
open to the public, hopin that they love it

thats all i got so far...tell me what you think

nice one here, seems like u comin with sum deep stuff here,
i love it keep doing what u do

i love you too dark. i mean.....yea i love you too and thanks for the feedback and man we need to do our collabo

damn im sorry, sumthin wrong with my aim imma hit u up lata

depicted by the blindness, unsure of what lies ahead
my eyes is red, late night i lie in my bed
on and off ponderin thoughts of the cost
on what it would take to unravels lifes knots
alongside with other miscellanious subjects
i leave myself subject to other peoples judgements

that was tite..liked that alot

thank you...still uppin this

Short but Ill..........I cant wait till u drop da whole shit

upppin

yeah that was mad yo, all these other rappers that want replies i usually just battle em and make them look like dickheads but thats some good shit. its the way i rap, i try to grab the words from as deep down of my heart as i can, good shit bro
you can do it

lies ahead
lie in my bed

change the second part to lie in bed, it rhyms better wit lies ahead

hey thanks for the advice man....nice

Or maybe:
I'm lying in my bed
Thinkin of what lies ahead

I don't know. Jus tryin to help out. but other than that, that shit was mean, and deep. Keep up the good work dawg.

thanks for the advice guys...i'll take it into consideration

uppin