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Old 06-08-03, 11:23 PM   #1
Miguel
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thoughts

IP: B8E1 8461

just some thoughts

stalagmites of hardened blood coated the ceileing
and tight verses reopened bloated feelings
while i was tied with ropes an stuck with cimeters
teeth filed down an hopes were fucked an limits were
not of consicuence as i was bleeding secrets
and asendence an death were fleeting but lockets
filled with cocaine an violence
spilled in vain an dropped with silence
as my families eyes were ripped out
my iniquities ties to them were clipped an doubt
entered m,y minds eye and slipped throug the cracks
of my depression as blood squirted and seeked attack
was my identity an guessin was i, flirtin peeked an sweet
was the taste of pain almost the same as pleasure
or like weed laced with heroin came the treasure
of fuckedupedness and uselessness
but why endlesss exertions of my sins
were displayed an quenced was my face as a thousand pins
stuck my body and fadeing was the light
trading places my element an signatured ideal
until the cold steele i know so well was in my palms
sold on an ordeal a squeezed and it pleased an calmed
my brains reactions until them mutha fuckas was dead
chain reactions until them mutha fuckas had said
or done nothin further or hurt tha people i love
or stolen the drugs i love an cannot part with

from my broken heart to my broken past
i found the spoken close an the wicked closea
with a chokin sentiment an a dig it vibe boasts tha
horrible demons and horrible humans
that changed my life and ranged from child to wife
or the pains i entered or things i commmited

much luv to those responses
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Old 06-09-03, 01:21 AM   #2
ILLusions
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Nice piece..........keep doing you...............
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Old 06-09-03, 05:16 PM   #3
Stark
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That was good, nice vocab, but i think you should polish it up a little to make the rythm more regular. That's the only thing that needs a lil fixing. It really made me feel i was there tho, great poem but can be even better, keep it up. Y representa por los latinos ese.
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