Fuck Ja Rule...

listening to Jar's tracks strenuous...
findin the parts that make it sell, i'm still here now wonderin why he doin well,
like cats on this site would smoke his ass,
he's whak now eminems gonna surpass/
Even Hayley can beat that alleged OG,
I pledge that he's the whackest emcee/
Fuckin looser can't do a track by himself,
He's descendin cold product on the shelf/
He's gonna get rock bottomed and also his sells,
Im waitn' for 50 to start scattering his shells/

whatever...

I'ma keep this breif,
crack ya ass by wedgin yo breifs,
you won't feel my wrath you'll be decease,
you ain't lastin when i'm blastin my piece/
beat ya chest, check ya like this is chess,
i ain't never gonna rest nor convalesce/
I'm not gonna recover from my illness,
you better take cover cuz i'm deleterious/
One man solo, 10 women rollo, youve got no centre like a polo/

Message...

I should try to rap on subject,
before cats readin this subtract/
i enthrawl even tho there isn't on 'topic' the wools been pulled over ya eyes fool this is tha 'shit'/
That i ain't stayin on point, i'm trekin without no 'compass' this screens my mask and i grasp a victim 'atlast'/
My 'incling' is that it's due to no 'discipline' i'm flowing free as the 'wind'/
'Hurricanes' OCCURING, Yo 'terrains' ERODING when i'm SPITTING/
It 'floods' n you drown, you wanna get 'bubbed', jus 1 down/
Is needed, impeding yo reactions,
yo family grieve cuz yo taken outta of action/

appreciating feedback on this freestyle about nothin really!!
~1~uppin~

you a G-unit wannabe?...anyway this was allright, you can rhyme but try to use more complex vocab - the third verse was dope though!

aiight thanks for tha critisism but how the fuck am i am a G-UNIT wannabe...i don't listen to there stuff?...wait is it cuz i was on about 50, only cuz it's to do with Ja. Hit me back Rhythic.
~1~uppin~

well you do got a subject problem... maybe its because your not picking the right subject. If you pick something you could only say so little on then its not something you care enough about to freestyle on... That's just my opinion.... OonNEe nice peice..kinda