heres a lil quick keystyle cuz im bored...
for those who dont know this is about a struggling, straving rapper

"Incomplete"

[A2Z]

My rhymes take careful planning, hours of shit to think//
On the brink of insanity, no rhymes just dishes stacked in the sink//
No job, no money, no girl...just blood sweat and ink//
Hands shaking, voice cracking, eyes hardly seeing//
Glowing red, my being Writers Blocking and ODing//
I need to be eating, but my minds disagreeing//
For the time being, Ill be sitting here guarenteeing//
That sooner or later some shit will hit my pad//
Then my platinum CD will come, ill be glad that i had//
The power to show i was worth something..screw my deadbeat dad//
Posing for ghetto shoe ads...fuck being a high school grad//
Wait, get back to the rhymes... we need some food to eat//
Rapping elite, but I spent my last dollar to buy this beat//
So I need to excrete all the pain from my sould and the street//
Write it on this paper...my ticket to dough is this sheet/
Fuck being a discrete street rapper, ill be banging the concrete//
Set my pen down... shit my verse is incomplete//

[CRYING SOUNDS]

[Affiliate]

this sheet is incomplete but so are my thoughts
i was gonna write somethin meaninful but now i forgot
so i sit here n hope the thoughts come back soon
but i always get distracted from this writin mood
i've been scribblin thoughts down for 2 years now:
few tears plowed, i've witnessed a few cheers now:
still my days seem empty cuz before dis drugs kept me:
consumed and confused so i didnt care, drugs spent me:
now i'm lucky i stopped but past thoughts still bug me:
still hug me makin the present glow seem a bit fuzzy:
why cant i have money n be worth somethin to myself:
wont stop smokin even tho i know its bad for my health:
shit, back to da notes on pad, damn short attention span:
discrations around me keep me from my attempted plan:
i wont stop, cuz i cant stop till my debut album droppin:
even then the demands for more outta me'll keep me hoppin:
feedback from listeners will boost my low self esteem:
it'll stop me from relapsin so i stay fresh n clean:
i look back at what i wrote n it just doesnt seem right:
my flows incomplete, thoughts now obsolete, jus doesnt seem tight:


a little something something...holla at me

if ya wanna collab on this with me, pm me with a verse

Not really feeling this drop. Too simplistic for me. Rhyme scheme was poor, and concept is unknown. Yes, this verse seemed very incomplete, or needs work...Which ever you prefer. Just my opinion. Pz!

no no...thats the point...its in the mind of a struggling rapper...starving and lonely...get it?

Yes, now I see. I misunderstood. My mistake.

lol...no prob...its all good...since u are such a nice person ill return the favor on an open mic...drop a link

I have none...lol

its coo
i like ur sig its damn funnny

uppin.
ps thanx for the sig compliment

nice peice... liked the concept cuz i could relate to it in a sense...the structure was a bit off .. it seemed like a key... i'm down for collaberating on this ... i'll pm a verse to you in a few

k this was aight, your stilla herb tho and becoz of that this is all the feedback ull be getting sunny

IM an herb because every1 is too lazy to reply? something dosent sound right there...

^^^^^^^^^^^^^
no not at all, your just the definition of a complete herb for tryna start beef, for thinking u da bees knees and thinking yo witty and trying 2 unsuccessfully merk me and a whole lotta reasons, that comment further validated my claim

&What?
1. I aint starting no beef
2. Where am I trying to be funny?

lol..for real im just looking for honest feedback, no beef starting no shit talking..

A2Z

^^^^^^
look m8 this thread has nothing 2 do wid it