Dis would be my first actual spit...
So peep my style...

Listen;

The ^time-is-now^,
Ta show ya'll I ain't ^lie-around^,
Spit heat dat make you feel like you ^dyin'-clown^,
Who's ^smilin'-now^?
Guzzle down da 9 and chew on dese ^halo-tip-cookies^,
I may have just got here, but I ain't gon' ^follow-da-rookies^!
I'll leave you blue from the fist, n' red from da ^9-in-my-hand^
If I added some intracet duck tape lines...shit,you'd look like ^Spider-Man^!
I spit da heat dat could give the sun an ^even-tan^,
I'm ^unbelievin'-man^,
Just wit wordz...I'll make you stop ^breathin'-man^!
My level is one only people wit ^talent-could-see^,
Label me a rookie, but next best ^challenge-is-me^!
Fear don't strike me, I'm ^immune-ta-intimidation^,
Like a walkin' volcano eruptin', I'm ^tuned-ta-incineration^!
My style is ^tip-top^,
Once da ^clip-drop^,
Ya heart'll make a ^quick-stop^,
N' all I'll do is ^crip-walk^!
All you wack emcee's out dere, just ^leave-me-alone^,
Hope you ^siezin'-chrome^,
Cuz I'mma leave you ^bleedin'-from-ya-dome^,
I'll say it once like Carl on family matters:^Steven-go-Home^!
One thing I lack in my life, would ^have-ta-be-patience^,
I know more den one way ta kill a guy, think I was an ^FBI-agent^!
My flow is suspected, but bombs you'll never ^see-'em-comin'^,
I only spray da AK cuz I love ta ^see-men's-blood-runnin'^!


Tell me what ya'll think...
Good or bad, whateva...it's still gon' help me...

not bad, didn;t really know what the sunject or concept of it was, try to make your bars the same length it makes the whole thing flow better, add some multis as well...

keep elevatin!

seemed alot like 50's style, you need better vocab an' your flow could use a little work too.. still, it's way above most the newb's here.. 1

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Yeah it did remind me of 50 but for a newbee that shit was real hot