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Old 07-27-03, 01:01 PM   #1
Accelerate
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B.R.E:Against Tha World

IP: 8BEC CACE

Take a look, sides are chosen, battles won, fires burnin/
Can't see much, I stand for my own cause,battles lost,now i'm learnin/
I'm facing a war-zone, of all evil places,I can't see far, there's too much smoke/
I'm blinded, and my throat begins to hurt, just inhaling all the excess gas, i begin to choke/
The world doesn't really care, who they hurt, as long as they get what they want/
I was part of this movement , until i realized that i was stupid, i ain't frontin/
I'm a one man army, but as battles progress,I will pick up followers who feel the cause/
Just recognizing the difficulty of the battles, makes it a more righteous cause/
I feel the life, the pain has just begun, no signs of ending are to come/
we are long-lost in society, printed in noriety, knowin the war aginst all-hell has just begun/
I take back-stabs the soldiers are leavin you, it leaves me as, a one man crew/
I'm back where I began, there people you can't trust, i'm talklin of all bad society, when i'm gonna defeat you/
I may die in battle the only casualty on my side, because i was the last to stay on cause/
Though it may seem it at first, if i'm dead, and was the last ever in my war, i won't think of it as a loss/

I had some writer's block, and I know my flow won't be workin in some places, but still lookin for honest feedback
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Old 07-27-03, 05:44 PM   #2
o0 Spirit 0o
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that first one sounds like a elementry song ryhme not like a diss or anything just it sounds familiar to that rhymescheeme or some shit i dunno

other than that nice shit
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Old 07-29-03, 02:51 AM   #3
Emotion
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if you even out your bars and aybe expanded your vocab a bit then your works would be much better
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