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Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio ![]() |
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Heavenly Tears
IP: A9A7 727D
The door closes behind me, and I pull my hat over my eyes
and my mind races silently as the heavens sorrowfully cry teardrops hitting me harder than any pummeling ever before and I see a child wrapped up tightly sitting alone on the floor his hair is plastered to his forehead, but he doesn't shed a tear I feel us being connected, he sees me and shows no fear so I approach the small boy; so young that he can't talk somebody bumps me, so I look away from the sidewalk I look back, the child is gone, all that's left is his small jacket peering at the tag, in permanent marker it says "Patrick" confirming my belief, the child was not magic, he was me remembering what I had seen, that afternoon that they left me....... *remembers* I woke up late, my tear stained eyes looked up into Her face, and I noticed that the worry lines around Her eyes encased, and He stood behind her; they were dressed and ready to go I didn't comprehend it then, but now I wouldn't have shown my elation at being allowed out of the house, even in the rain She changed me and got me dressed, Her eyes still showing pain I didn't notice then, too bad, I look back now and realise the pain I saw reflected there was what made the heavens cry so we exited the house and She hugged me tightly there He whispered to her after a while; He never really cared and She put me down there and kissed me on both cheeks She told me not to worry and said that She would miss me so I sat there crying in the rain, until some strange passers by picked me up and took me home, the heavens stopped their cry the sun came out and I could see that I would still live on and I knew, at that young age, that life would carry on *leaves the memory* I walked home that rainy afternoon, thinking of the past my mother was such an enigma, I knew this vision wouldn't last I reached my home and took off my coat and hat; I wouldn't pout I turned on the evening news................and Her face stared out.... covered in heaven's tears.... *reporter:.... Elisa Grant was found dead today in Sunnybrook Park. Anyone with information is to call the authorities. Moving on.......* -----------------------> Peace
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Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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Guest
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IP: 4577 CD9A
I like that shit... it was deep son...keep droppin' god
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Tickle My Sloth
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IP: 2DFF 5E3E
It Was Dope, Nucca!
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IP: A9A7 727D
lmao cam....Nucca it up
NUCCA!
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Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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shit is just too easy.
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IP: D60E 522C
Nice Peice Man..Keep Droppin Hott Ish
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This is a dope sig. |
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IP: A9A7 727D
up
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Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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Tampons are expensive
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IP: EF0A E7B2
damn damn damn....madd hott pat!
i liked how the way u make pieces like this...i read like a bunch of open mic stories from you...pretty dope... the style...the vocabs...the content....hot hot! sooo much talent....care to share?? ![]() well nice drop!
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<br><br><center>- Shiznit - - Tampons are still expensive - - That's a Fact - </center> |
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Guest
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IP: CE54 13DC
verynice.. verynice indeed
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Guest
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IP: 399E F0FD
real nice
overall i give it a 9.3/10...one of the highest scores ive ever given return the favor if ya got the time: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=62052 |
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Guest
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IP: C5C3 B963
nice drop doggy......keep dis shit up DuN....oNE
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IP: A9A7 727D
well, this forum has a thing for one-line replies now...bogus.
thanks anyways, at least I know you guys read it... jen, you know you're better than me!
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Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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Registered User
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IP: 143E 1972
that had really good flow and a lot of emotion. none of the rhyming felt forced, it just worked well.
and the story was interesting as well. good topic. very nice drop.
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early man walked away as modern man took control their minds weren't all the same and to conquer was their goal so he built his great empire and he slaughtered his own kind he died a confused man killed himself in his own mind we're only gonna die for our own arrogance that's why we might as well take our time |
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IP: D637 72D3
superman
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Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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Registered User
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IP: E7EA F80F
This was pretty tight keep it coming 1..
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Sand
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IP: A10D 4933
Ra Ill.
Krupp Needs To Ban You From RnR. And Brandon Needs To Ban You From Here. You Have More 1 Lines Open Mic Replies Than Anyone..... Understatement nice story. flow and internals were nice, made it a decent read, i was a little bit dissapointed by the ending. i thought you would add a twist, about the person you are now, finding the jacket. i don't know, your mom dying came out of nowhere to me. i didn't like that. but the skills in your storytelling were most def. noticed. you have the talent, i usually think of my endings before hand, to make them very powerful. well i don't know, keep doing your thing nice piece..
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[ Word for Word ]
Kevin. Alex. Patrick. John. |
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