how can you prepare for tha unstoppable/
I plan tah stay around for ah long time like fossil fule/
in all tha minds of those who think hip-hop is through/
I'm dropping new seeds and watching em' bloom/
this ain't your ordinary type of rocking tha mic/
it involves thought tah consume tha songs that I muse/
words that I write get hot like tha tropics at noon/
hypnotic tah optics, even kids in tha mosh pit stop for tha view/
then start anew, cause this is heavy metal like doctor doom/
watch tha profit sky rocket like it was shot to tha moon/
all you so called emcees... got no flavor like hospital food/
while this delicious spanish dish is serving up ah loud sound like sonic booms/
guile style-all american-hip-hop samaritan-from maryland/
manowar... one of tha only emcee's, tha rest ain't even in comparison/
you'll lose yapping bout' shooting and killing/
cause all I rap about is moving and building/
abusing tha word "skill" till it's bruised, bleeding, wounded, and wilted/
no improvement needed, I'm just exhuming my feelings/
so when all tha wounds are healing/
they'll get open up again just tah prove I'm tha illest...

peace...

Not a bad piece, flow was its strong point, i liked the opening bar the mmost, made for a nice opener, could of used maybe a couple more multi's and internals here and there, possibly some wordplay or contradicting concepts to keep the reader held in suspense. I think it would suit you more to join up to the RB Topical League and try it out in there to a set topic, rather than just a random "Im dope" piece like this seemed to be. You might be better having to write emotionally and w/ distinctiove imagery in your pieces.

Just my two cents. .

werd... not bad

the only thing i noticed was your bars is a little un even... your syllables are a little off throwing your flow off a little but other then that not bad vocab could have been a tiny bit more. and multi just like camarac said

yeah I've written alot of both really... topical is good stuff... it took me a couple years to get tha hang of putting some much detail in it still keeping tha flow and having it make perfect sense... the classified "I'm ill" pieces came pretty natural, this is just a taste, something I spent really no time on... but yo enough small talk... appriciate your words... it means tha world...

peace...