The street life is hard, like when ni99as get an erection//
I got body scars from not keeping protection//
Fa real, you can get very ambiguous//
Outside I'm Savory, but in I'm hideous//
I dun got my a$$ whopped and kicked//
Clutch tha trigga, opps tha bullet hit//
Ni99as should be like vegetarians and stay away from beef//
I was taught not to turn but to put tha kay to ya cheek//
And to carry more heat than tha ozone layer//
"Want it wit me?" ya betta go on player//
All I knew about was thugettes and thugs//
Shoot, rep my set, and drip ya blood//
But 1 day, I stand there wit my eyes fire-red, bloodshoot//
Ni99a played wit my head, pop him dead, floodshots//
"Calm down ma" was tha words of my partner//
I'm not from No Limit but I always roll wit a chopper//
To stop me from firing, he emptied out my ammunition//
To keep me from retiring, he had me rapping & gamespittin//
You soon learn dat in da street only a few stay by ya side//
You learn,dat when it's beef, you'll neva know who survives//
Ni99as smile in ya face, try to be down wit you//
Tha next second, u die when they sen a round to you//

not bad for a a noob, keep elivatin n playin around

You had some played ass lines in here.

Flow was pretty good, for the most part.

Try to add multiz , step up your vocab , and use some unplayed lines , and your pieces will get a helluva lot better .

Keep droppin .

Yo, that was some good shi'....yo, could ya check ou' ma collab with Tha_64_Killa? thx.

erm.........well....ya know the advice ya gave me....well...do the same.....

but.....i fuckin liked the story.....dope creativity....if not created....i feel for ya...!!!