![]() |
|
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||||
Guest
|
The World That Doesnt Look Back
IP: 09AD FC88
Merely existing
Hardly living This everday routine Now just instinct Variety has been replaced Life turns to a repetitious waste Cant help but think I'm a failure, a disgrace I scream out for someone to hear But i'm turned a def ear Oh well i guess Didnt expect anyone to shed a tear Or glance in my direction Display slight affection Since i'm an error In a world based on perfection Studying others I wonder What they have that I lack Staring, glaring, looking At this world that doesnt look back my first piece in a long long while....let me know what u think.... |
||||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|||||||
New to RB
|
IP: 19EE F2A1
nice, rhymes were pretty good and the flow was smooth, i felt the meassage and understood where you were coming from, keep it up
peace
__________________
We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams. |
|||||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||||
Guest
|
IP: C3D4 A284
wow.....kinda like a lost soul piece..i liked it a lot! lines weren't that long..but it gave it that climaxin feel....nice..God bless..1..
|
||||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||||
Guest
|
IP: 4577 CD9A
thanx pheonix and trinity....uppin
|
||||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||||
Guest
|
IP: 4F2B 4EA2
This had a real smooth, downbeat and real feel to it. A quaint piece.
Got no criticism. It all fitted in well enough. And ended in a befitting way. Most definetly felt. I enjoy these kind of pieces when they are done right. And this one was. ..resp... |
||||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||||
Guest
|
IP: 4577 CD9A
i like this whole "not getting slept on thing"...its kinda nice...
lol...thanx for the feedback varentao.... |
||||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||||
Light Weight
|
IP: 640C 3FBD
Really good writing. I don't even know what to say about it. The story line..I guess you could call it, flowed real nice. Then how you ended it was really good too, putting the title in there like that. I liked it a lot. Much respect to you for this
|
||||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||||
Guest
|
IP: C1DA C961
thanx legendary...
|
||||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||||
Guest
|
IP: 00D8 3102
THe Flow was real good , but the content was very depressing. You need to raise your self esteem. Turn your talent into some different themes.
CE |
||||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|