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Old 07-08-03, 05:17 PM   #1
Quik-$pit
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Unhappy Drowning in my own tears!!!

IP: 16F2 8A6E

Some one help me, i cant take this anymore ...
I'm stuck on my own an trapped behind a locked door ...
I want to get out but i cant my feet are glued to the floor ...
I feel like being in the centre of the next world war ...
That way it will be quick an painless an have no more pain ...
I want you to stop this mind game, its putting to much pressure upon my brain ...

I miss you so much an i know you feel the same ...
You said it on the phone but done nothing to stop my pain ...
No matter what i do or where i go it seems to always fuckin rain ...
I'm drownin in my own tears washin my life down the drain ...
Its like all that i've lost has suddenly become your gain ...
The day you left me it hit my heart like a high speed train ...
you keep sayin sorry but it dont work coz i'm the only one to blame ...
I sometimes wish i never met you an that i never knew your name...
that way i'd be the way i was before an with - out all this pain ...

You made me so happy an now you make so fuckin sad ...
I'm always dreamin of those nights we once had ...
Always wishin you were here to take away all the bad ...
you are the only girl who can put me back the way i used to be ...
all you gotta do is pick up the phone an chat some good news to me ...
i will be a made man an happy as can be, jus open your eyes to what your blind to see ...

its only you who can't see the love i have for you ...
Everyone else knows, its even gettin to my crew ...
they wanna see me happy an theres nothin they can do ...
they wanna see me happy but its all down to you ...
all i want now baby is to stop feelin so blue ...
all i want now baby is to be laying next to you ...
i wouldn't even care if you gave me the flu ...
coz i'll take an cherish what ever grows inside of you ... < hiden message

Here is something my uncle said to me the other day >>>

"Through-out my whole entire life i've never ever seen you unhappy, an you now look so unhappy it makes me feel unhappy
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Old 07-08-03, 05:30 PM   #2
Verbatim
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wow, i really liked that shit
it's good to get that shit out, and clear your chest
cause if ya hold it in, it hurts and your not at best
i know the feelin,
peace
keep droppin
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Old 07-08-03, 05:37 PM   #3
~RuThLEss~
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^^^^^^^^^^^DAMN quik....Fam this wus deep

hiddin message is.........did u just became a dad???

cuz


wouldn't even care if you gave me the flu ...
coz i'll take an cherish what ever grows inside of you ...

^^^seems like u really love her even though relationship goes down the hill sometimes....but u love her for wut she carryin meanin a baby

i dont know if am rite but this wus nice emotional piece.....very nicely put together


WUn fam
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Old 07-08-03, 05:46 PM   #4
BlUnT-MC
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deep, more poetic than ne-thing... it was a good piece, flowed alright, but to a real soft rythm... vocab was lacking a-bit, but this type of piece usually does... good work still fam, 1


.........
lol I ain't know this was poetry... lmao, a'ight.. so I was right when I said it was more poetic than anything.. lol, stay up dun.. 1
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Old 07-08-03, 05:52 PM   #5
Dadi Kewl
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^well this is a poetry forum :P

Deep Piece Quik,
nice concept and some nice imagery

keep droppin

-pz

Last edited by Dadi Kewl : 07-08-03 at 05:58 PM.
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Old 07-08-03, 09:37 PM   #6
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I can't think of anythin bad to say about this piece, damn, like krem said, it's always good to get these kinds of things off your chest, hope it works out for you man,
peace
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Old 07-09-03, 01:03 PM   #7
Quik-$pit
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Nah Ruthless she aint pregnant ,

The last line basicly means if she was to get pregnant i wouldn't do what most men would do, i'd stay by her side forever!!!

Thanx for the feedback ... uppin this!!!
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Old 07-09-03, 04:35 PM   #8
Bazzy
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Give her that poem................

Then she'll understand what you want/need..............

I would say to send it to her............
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Old 07-10-03, 04:33 PM   #9
Quik-$pit
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Uppin this!!!

Feedback or advice please

Thanx
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Old 07-13-03, 08:13 AM   #10
Quik-$pit
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Uppin this for Advice / feedback!!

thanx
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Old 07-15-03, 12:24 PM   #11
Split-eyez
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yo dawg, you gotta show this piece to her man, it's deep
I really liked it... I hope you and the girl work things out
very well written
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