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Old 08-17-03, 04:09 PM   #1
Baron Mynd.
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SS: If Only. .

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If Only. .

these pages could speak, would they serve a purpose to rhythm?
or Depict Merciless Killings Throughout the Words Of A Villain?
create serges so thrillin the readers held in the freights & screams
of a fairytales Life and Dreams, inside the pages, an Exciting Read
Where Knights and Queens Co-Exist Among Legends and Myths
In a supernatural landscape where mistakes are pledgeing the fifth.
Dreading Lips Temptin` Fate, so the Page barely Mentions Names,
but Decorates each chapter w/ inked Laughter in a Bid to Entertain.
Hoping Kids will Be Drawn In By Its Abundence As The Sun Sets
Another Reader. Another Victim In A Story That Hasnt Begun Yet. .
See somethin` inside each story Gives It a Twisted mind of its own,
And every Time its Read, its Takes A Shred of The Childrens Soul.
With This in Its Posession, it Begins Etching With Sickened Rage
Grinning Slightely as The Childs Gaze becomes Fixed On The Page.
With each pictured scene imagened, they fall deeper into Madness
then as they turn the final page, their finally encased n held captive.
The souls merge with the book, body and mind combined w/ words
Bound together with force.. the closing paperback is all thats heard.
Consider this a lesson learned, this fable of the fairytales spirit
Bury your face in books . . and your burying your soul with it.
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Old 08-17-03, 04:22 PM   #2
pot1ent
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This was a nice piece, now that was white heat, nothin bad to crit on, stayed on topic and related to it real well, hot flow blah blah bajkdndnl,dope piece...uppin this for barron...oNe
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Old 08-18-03, 02:06 AM   #3
James Bondage
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Gyeah!
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Old 08-18-03, 02:15 AM   #4
G.Hod
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Re: SS: If Only. .

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You've got a trade-mark flow, Cam. . So many people imitate this, but it is extremely unique; no lie!

I know you're from the UK, and wonder how you can incorporate these American concepts metaphorically into your pieces. For example:

Quote:
Originally posted by Baron Mynd
In a supernatural landscape where mistakes are pledgeing the fifth.


No disrespect, don't take this the wrong way. . Just wondering.
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Old 08-18-03, 02:23 AM   #5
James Bondage
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Heh, its not really an 'american' concept, you hear it a lot here too, what with all the american cop shows we get and such. : )
Im on Writers Block, you should expect that other level ish by now my man!
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Old 08-18-03, 02:26 AM   #6
G.Hod
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Well I roll with the New York Giants. We will take out Writer's Block. .
























as soon as we realize that the Front Lines aren't the only forum on RB.
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Old 08-18-03, 03:47 AM   #7
James Bondage
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Lmfao!
Sarcastic Yet Soooo True.
I'll Respond To Your Piece Under One Of My Many Alias's Soon : )
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Old 08-18-03, 02:34 PM   #8
James Bondage
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cough
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Old 08-19-03, 01:11 PM   #9
G. Buttersworth
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yeah overall tight drop.. the mutlis were there and the visualizations helped dopen this piece by far.

some lines had me a lil lost.. but when re-read..i got it.. which made it ill..


tight drop.
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Old 08-19-03, 03:49 PM   #10
Infinite Skillz
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Nice drop man. nice flow and metaphors. Ur lines paint an accurate picture and complemented ur unique style.
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Old 08-20-03, 03:07 AM   #11
Sureal
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Yea Cam, You Came Fairly Dope In This Verse..
But This Is For Critiquing.. I've Seen You Better...
And I've Seen You Worse.. Flow Fell Off A Coupla
Times, But You Recovered Beautifully, All For All..
This Was A Nicely Done Verse, That I Enjoyed Reading...

Pz.

-Sureal
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Old 08-20-03, 11:31 AM   #12
James Bondage
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No Dizzoubt Sureal Nigga. .
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