Original Sin

The Concept Of Original Sin, Releases The Addictive Devil Within...
But A Misinterpretation Of This Act - Leaves You In Spiritual Chagrin...
With This Action No-one Can Win, God Is like Your Emotional Twin...
This Story Starts With A Man So True, Honest n’ Hard Working -
Just Like Me n’ You, But His Actions Are Repeated By Yet So Few...
It’s Just Like Adam n’ Eve, Messing Up Mankind’s Debut...
Adam, Lawfully Naïve, His Wife, Hadn’t The Wisdom To Believe...
Aggrieve, They Angered God, And Had No Choice But To Leave...
The Garden, They Had Once So Loved n’ Respected...
They Left Grudgingly Feeling Abandoned n’ Neglected...
On The Outside, They Felt So Vulnerable n’ Unprotected...
A Life So Gold n’ Pure, They’d Regrettably Rejected...
By Following There Example, This’ll Happen To You To...
All Your Ideas But A Glorious Heaven, Will Reveal Untrue...
It Didn’t Take Only One Person To Sin, It Took Two...
Construe The Fact were Immature. With God You’ll be Spiritually Secure...
Within God, You’ll Find A Sanctuary So Sacred n’ Pure...

This Story Begins, With A Man By The Name of Tom...
At First So Innocent n’ Free, Naturally Easy n’ Calm...
He’d Learned About Wrongs, And The Forbidden Tree...
“Neither Shall A Garment Mingled Of Different Fabrics Come Upon Thee…”
A Message With Hidden Meaning, He Said, Smiling With Glee...
But Who Knew He’d Commit Sin, By The Time He was 33...
A Sin So Awful, Mentally Horrendous n’ Impure...
No Thought For What The Innocent Family, Had To Endure...
5 Shots, Killing 3 Instantly, A 6th Just To Make Entirely Sure...
Never Been Further From God, Never Had His Holy Vision Obscure...
Now His Virtuousness Has To be Punished, For The Pain n’ Hurt...
He Once Believed In A Implausible God, Now He Wants To Convert...
To A Devil Who’ll Teach Him The Ways Of A Satanist n’ Pervert...
This The Life He Choose, He No Longer Wanted To Hold The “Fort”...



That Night, Tom Disgraced n’ Punsihed, Shot Himself...
God Ordered Him To leave His “Garden”, Send Him To Hell...
This Is The Beginning Of The End, For Tom - A Satanist Farewell...



Garden - World

Just Like Me n’ You, But His Actions Are Repeated By Yet So Few...
It’s Just Like Adam n’ Eve, Messing Up Mankind’s Debut...
^^nice lines rythmic

A Sin So Awful, Mentally Horrendous n’ Impure...
No Thought For What The Innocent Family, Had To Endure...
5 Shots, Killing 3 Instantly, A 6th Just To Make Entirely Sure...

also some good lines^

That Night, Tom Disgraced n’ Punsihed, Shot Himself...
God Ordered Him To leave His “Garden”, Send Him To Hell...
This Is The Beginning Of The End, For Tom - A Satanist Farewell...
^^good ending

This was overall a nice powerful piece. It explicitly explains the power of Original sin, and how it still affects us. Good use of the cause and effect concept. Overall a nice piece, well thought out and everything, some really good shit.

__________________
Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?!

GREAT WAY OF INTROING AND THEN TELLING THE STORY YOU AND SKIDDLEZ MUST OF MENT FOR COLLAB CAUSE HIS IS SIMILAR EVEN IN ROOTED CONTENT SEPT YOURS IS ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE HELL OF TIGHT AND I UNDERSTAND ON THE COLLAB DO YOU POP STAY UP PEEP MY NEW JOINTS UNDER HERE A TOPICAL ONE AND BATTLE

uupin'

uppin''

Sorry for such a short reply on this open mic peice but only one word can describe it.

DAMN!

nuff said........................one

^Fuckin n00b's
leave some costructive feedback, dam freeposters.

Very nice, i've seen your stuff before
and this is some of the better stuff,
nice use of words, topic was nice
and you tried to bring alot to this...
whichyou did, a nice thursday afternoon read,
Keep em' droppin, and they'll keep gettin stronger.

Pz.

^Thanx Dawg, Thats The Kinda Feedback You Should All GIve!^ ..lol

uupin' one last time..