![]() |
|
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||||
Flyweight
|
Keep Going.
IP: 6605 1E9E
Driver.
Passenger. Both of them. Yo, I’m a nice guy, but lately it’s like my casket has dropped As I slam on the brakes when approaching this traffic gridlock I dispise this, but when the music hits.. I’m glad to be seen Cause I can’t stand to sit beside this stupid bitch in the passenger seat I’m a bastard, you geek, and the personna fits me perfectly Shit, if it wasn’t for me.. you wouldn’t know those words you speak So appreciate my help, G, and don’t think you’re safe in the dark Or you’ll find yourself with an airbag in place of your heart Face it you fart, you’ll never be enlightened with gold Lookie here; I’m the one in the driver’s seat, so I’m in control Don’t kid yourself, so what? You think you’re Jesus now? No, you’re just another faggot who got lost on the scenic route Please get out, man, let it be over, you get me? Cause I’ve got enough pressure on my shoulders already And I’m driving this road, but would you care to see me cry? And I’m driving this road, so the air can free my mind And I’m driving this road, in the metal that’s got me trapped And I’m driving this road, with you - the nagging monkey on my back And I’m driving this road, to write a path in the book of history And waiting for an accident to put me out of my misery Is that what you think of me? Well, it’s hard to forget what you say Shit, you don’t know what it’s like getting followed every step of the way Especially by you; a whimp, and ontop of that.. a useless freak Who suffocates me so much, I don’t have room to breathe So I’m down to my last breathe, and I’m glad it’s this way Because I’ll only use half of it, and throw the other half away Why won’t you leave? You had to pick the worst timing And everywhere I go, you’re always right there beside me I’m sick of it, if you won’t leave me; I must keep going strong So I can meet suicide at the end of the road with open arms Maybe you should kill yourself, I mean, you’ve got nothing going on But ever since I picked you up, my life has been going wrong I never should’ve stopped, if only I’d given it more of my thought Cause now I can’t get rid of you - the car doors are locked But I must keep going... and head for this clearer direction Even though you’ll always stare back in the mirror's reflection I am my biggest fear, and enemy - August 24th.. ..the diary of a madman. I replied to; JOHNNY 6 FEET's piece - Whatever it was called..
__________________
It's me - Bare Knuckles!
Yes.. the rumours are true. Alias: Atheist. The Creation! |
||||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||||
BANNED
|
IP: C444 58BC
<--- Camarac
Nice piece my man, good imagery, the internals worked well with the flow to the piece, the interaction between the characters added to this nicely, great storytelling, i loved the build up of the "And im driving down this road. .' that added to it a lot by repeating those lines, it kept the build up strong, the finish rounded it off nicely, all in all it made for a good read. Props! |
||||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||
Banned: Compromised Account
|
IP: 4577 CD9A
damn...this was hot as fuck...multiez...story...flow...everything was on lock...keep doin' ya thing god...
|
||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||||
Flyweight
|
IP: 6E03 4F0C
Thanks, yo.
Uppin.
__________________
It's me - Bare Knuckles!
Yes.. the rumours are true. Alias: Atheist. The Creation! |
||||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||
Banned: Compromised Account
|
IP: C1DA C961
no prob...BTW can you check out my 3 new open mics?????? they on top of the thread...
|
||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||||
Flyweight
|
IP: 6E03 4F0C
I'll check them out when I get home;
I've got school now..
__________________
It's me - Bare Knuckles!
Yes.. the rumours are true. Alias: Atheist. The Creation! |
||||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||
Banned: Compromised Account
|
IP: C1DA C961
aiiight then...thanks man...
|
||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||||
Flyweight
|
IP: 8701 65C0
Raise the Roof, Baby.
__________________
It's me - Bare Knuckles!
Yes.. the rumours are true. Alias: Atheist. The Creation! |
||||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||||
Guest
|
IP: C1DA C961
sorry i gotta be your first bad ...well not so bad...just wasn't feelin the story ish here...vocab was good....multis lacked
overall alright piece rating 7/10 |
||||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||||
Flyweight
|
IP: 8701 65C0
7 out of 10 ain't bad, it's good in my books, lol.
__________________
It's me - Bare Knuckles!
Yes.. the rumours are true. Alias: Atheist. The Creation! |
||||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|