this is a song i wrote when i was on the streets

Title: now a dayz

verse 1: fuckin back in tha day/
it was safe 4 kids 2 play/
outside witout havin 2 pay/
some consequenses or face danger/
like bein raped by a stranger/
who wuz infact a fucking park ranger/
or a muthafuckin priest/
at least/
when hes deceased/
he'll go strait 2 hell and not heaven/
yet fools still jacking 7/11…. /
simply cuz the want xtra money/
i find it kinda funny/
that n e fuckin dummy/
can buy themselves a gat/
next thing u kno rat-tat-tat/
yo dog wat tha fuck wuz that?/
holy shit ya boys dead on the welcome mat!/
now the whole crew wants 2 know where tha fuckas at/
cuz they got evil intentions/
2 get there fuckin vengence/
rageing like muscle car engines/
and it be polluting/
mentioned shootin and lootin/
cuz it needs 2 b adressed/
so we can prevent tha fuckin chest/
of clerks 2 look like swizz cheese/
2 put cilivians at ease/
and 2 make sure that these/
muthafuckin terrorisists r put in they place/
its such a fuckin disgrace/
how they blew up the twins/
nowadays theres so many sins/
in my eyes ,shit, nobody wins/

chorus:4x nowadayz, so many ppl got to pray and cry some tears, cuz there life is full of fear/

verse 2:
shit,dog not only do priests got homosexual tendencies/
but nowadays its also common 4 teenage
pregnancies/
and if dat happends any bitch can get herself an abortion/
shit, its like every married couple b divorcing/
theres also 2 much extortion/
peeps blowin the truth outta per portion/
like the size of there third leg/
i hate tha site of seein homless ppl beg/
seein them all filthy, makes me feel kinda guilty/
shit dog, we live in a world a poverty/
i aint playin when i say it, it bothers me/
this worlds so fucked up that u c a homeless man on tha streets/
dont even have enough 2 eat/
and dont have n e shoes on his feet/
wat ever happend 2 family, 9/11 got every1 trying compete/
aint no 1 wanna give 2 tha needy/
cuz nowadays evryones so fuckin greedy/
this fucked up, that a rich man wont even give some cole/
more givin less recievin, that shuld b my goal/
man i hope u undastand, that ima be a betta man and not play in gurlz pants/
cuz when it cums 2 livin life, u only get 1 chance/

chorus:4x nowadayz, so many ppl got to pray and cry some tears, cuz there life is full of fear/

verse 3: bitch-ass perves sell and jack off 2 kiddie porn on tha net/
but wat i dont fuckin get/
iz how can some1 fuckin let, themsleves get hard by seein kids nude/
its lude and crude, how can they get in tha mood/
what's my opinion? its sick they should stop it/
yo dog let start up a new topic/
i kno so many kids my age takin drugz/
even they preppy kids that wear lugz hang wit tha thugz/
lite it up, puff puff pass, chain smokin/
yo i aint fuckin jokin/
shit like that gots david chokin/
craokin, now his parentz iz heart brokin/
cuz he passed out, neva 2 b awokein/
2 find tha cuz a death, nurses iz pokin/
him wit needles 2 get a blood sample/
thats a muthafuckin perfect example/
of y dealas gotta b put behind bars/
meanwhile, somewhere else on ths fucked up worlds of ours/
eric's at skool wearin a trenchcoat/
so this mourin guess wat he wrote?/
it wuz a suicide note/
4 show and tell he brought an A K/
hes gonna makesure no 1 else see's anotha fucking day/
i hope someday we just may/
put an end 2 all this chaos and start rebuilding/
make it fuckin safe 4 all tha men women and children/
on this planet, but thats really farfetched/
an over stretched blueprint sketched/
cuz nowadayz peace an luv dont exist/
dog, that shit makes me so fuckin pissed/
tha shit i just spoke aint no fucking fable/
an all dis craps makin me unstable/
mentally, i just aint able/
2 put up with all this shit/
dammit,dog, when it cums 2 life, i quit, I quit(shout)/
(gun shot)

i guess no body is feelin this
should i close the thread well i will decide that latta

yo man... honestly... I wasn't feeling this...
You making some good points in this... you trying to cover alot of issues going around, thas cool...
but I don't know... shit kinda got me bored...
most of this was written in very simple form... and damm... I tried, but I couldn't really find a flow to this...
thas all man

Peace

that fact that it WAS written in a simple form stopped me from bein bored otherwise i would've been...it was nice but had no wordplay or anything, if i gave a word of advice it would be to center on one topic, it's easier, or mayb a topic to each verse... jus my opinions, im an opiniated man u kno, hit ur head on a cloud, naomean?...

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^^^agree^^^

pretty lame really, but u got your point across real quick. you'll improve if you got heart.