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Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio ![]() |
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Atra Ludio or Hip-Hop?
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The Woman With the Tattooed Face
IP: 4577 CD9A
The Woman With the Tattooed Face
I used to know this woman who had the most evil tattoo on her face She was seventeen years old and as far as I know she was a special case It's not that she was a punk, though she was, it's easy to tell She had that black mohawk, spiked bracers, and destined for hell And that in itself was obvious from her tattooo A crooked cross swastika burned over her eye so blue But that in itself told me she was a nationalist socialist So how was I ever supposed to know that wasn't her wish? All she ever wanted was that so called perfect family Too bad her father was so abusive the two were battling And her mother was so weak she did whatever her father said And the only way her brother would get out is if he was dead Though her face looked guilty, there was so much innocence But she could never be happy and her life never made sense Her father said the only temples of God were the ones on his head And she should be proud of her heritage, it's what he said She had an incredibly soft face, too bad for that tattoo Nobody's tolerant of her lack of intolerance, what's she to do? She couldn't leave her trailer, less be shunned by society But her fathers arms were wide open and he said "Come to me" Sometimes at night she screams, wishing to fall like a domino Wanting to be on death row, trapped in incognito But that aint neat, yo. It's all condenscending That people don't understand the message her tattoo is sending It represents oppression and they don't know she's oppressed She wants a life to lead, they want her life put at rest They just look at her, that's all they do is just look at her And they think she's her father, but they won't truly look at her They won't see the beauty that resides inside her heart I keep telling them all to look, but they won't even start She aint trying to deceive, she's just trying to concieve The possible thought to believe, that they could percieve That maybe there is something true and rightouss inside her But they don't care, no one ever trys to get inside her
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Quote:
I'm taking that as a compliment. Last edited by The Necromancer : 09-05-03 at 07:10 AM. |
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That's Right...I'm White
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IP: C846 F162
I liked this piece
seemed like a lot of work went into this, maybe not i dunno i liked the way that it flowed, vocab was good also keep droppin, lookin forward to seein more from you peace |
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Light Weight
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Re: The Woman With the Tattooed Face
IP: 640C 3FBD
A very well written sad piece you came up with here. It does look like you put some work into it, like Krem said, but it probably only took you 10 minutes since I know you got skills like that
![]() This made me sad cause I've had great friends where no one else would really care to get to know them just cause of how they looked. You definately brought up old memories of that stuff when I read this. I can't really see anything in this I didn't like. All of it kept my attention and I enjoyed reading it. You did good with this and I hope you keep dropping.. Quote:
Was that part a typo? Just wondering.. |
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Atra Ludio or Hip-Hop?
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IP: C7FD 614D
D'oh
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Guest
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IP: 9B33 081B
funny i know a girl EXACTLY like this................hmmmm.........thought provoking.........i enjoyed the way you put the words..................going into this piece i expected something entirely different from what i got out of it.................i like the sentiment you expressed and you seemed to have a personal feel towards the person.....................in any case it was an excellent piece and i wish you luck in the future..........1
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Guest
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IP: E772 2D41
AMAZING!! im at a lost for words.keep droppin this tight shit.peace.
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Guest
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IP: 18CD 6470
I liked how used the basics to such, well...basic effect.
That brings one into the piece. Then the scattered depth is slowly found as you go beyond that. The meaning was there to be seen. Not really hidden all that much, just there. And i appreciated that. But especially the actual meaning itself. I most definetly dug that. But what sticks the most is the basic cover. The woman (or man, though i get the effects is stronger with the female) with a tatooed face. ...resp... |
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Special Ghost To Blow
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IP: C1DA C961
Atmosphere - The Woman With The Tattoed Hands
or something like that..... Anyways the storytelling was done very well and made simple to apply for all types of..ages...nothing too abstract or difficult for people to pull their mental shovels out and picture your frame....necro you definately have many styles to present and you should do audio and make yourself a cd... shit id buy it....some of us think this isnt even you at times but with just about everything you place on here you come correct in all aspects of poetry..well done hopefully you appreciate that and continue your elevation.. la paz PS I say a ~shalom~ sign..thought of your crazy self... Last edited by Content : 09-08-03 at 07:18 PM. |
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Sharp Perfection.
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IP: 4427 B15C
iight
you continue to impress me, i love reading your work, although this here is not my favorite, it still is a beautiful piece, theres not much to say other then that about it. it did bring forth lots of emotion, and it made me think, see in someone elses eyes my love ~Tera~ DONT HATE
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R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~ keep singing in heaven |
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..A New Breed of Femcee..
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IP: 399E F0FD
You are truly original, Necro..
You always have the most inspiring content, I was really feelin this piece in every aspect. Amazing the kind of stuff that comes out. |
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