tangled web..

an innocent child connected to a internet smile
lured inside details parting to feed the vile
naive for awhile text exchanged and pics sent
false pretence pixelated images masked dirty men
darkly dreamt to infiltrate the adress of the netscape
invisible fingers penetrate the screen and snatch
young mind snagged plans hatched built up for a collapse
personal details passed mind to be played and dashed
days elapse meeting place is arranged by both
kids middle of the scope a puppet the 'boy' plays the rope
innocent hope flowed with ideas of a matching soul
but hope was cold as she arrived at the door of torture
a twsit of metal from misfortune houses eyes dry from water
evil brought her too many tears cried from cruel disorder
lamb to the slaughter the wool pulled from her vision
door slithered and she was yanked b4 a face was given
bound and gagged quivering muffled cries imprisoned
victim listened to a 40 year old voice emerge from the captor
rough and grating tones stabbed her as fingers of deceit captured
she sweated faster scared beyond fears rapture
an overtowering stature breathed the root of evil seed
her dry mouth uttered pleads when wud she wake from this scream?...but pinching thru her fleece she knew she wasnt asleep

months on her picture haunts the paper on walls
missing presumed dead a ghostly reminder on the nets pitfalls...

machine called this on point like want of your sentence periods kid.this was fire i only peeped it cause i saw the cloud of smoke from my modem...lol stay up twin hot sht

nice shit man, u told a story wit vivid detail, and it was a story that is tru to life, this shit really happens, one problem has to do wit me and that's tha 3-line rhyme scheme, hard for me to read unless i slow it down, good-piece though, hit ur head on a cloud naomean...

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yo this is 1 of the hottest verses in here u told a story about true real life things that really happen to little girls cuz there being fooled but then they end up raped beatin n killed n thas not cool so u put the point out there

the way u put this together made it easy to visualize what happend almost like readin a book you kno nice piece man keep doin ya thing

IM DIGGING THE VERSE KEEP EM COMMING AND HAVE THEM OTHERS RUNNING.
ITS THE SHARKS

nice to see an orignal topic. its about time some one did a story with out talking about thier shoot outs and drug deals

lol^
true very true

yup...this was mad-nice-hot-sickening-dopeness

Flow, vocab, structure all there...content and toic was oof the hook

Couldn't find anything to fault with this...

o
N
e

shit man, the title fits perfect for the topic...
no doubt this showed skill man...
shit was short and to the point, and it flowed all the way through
"an innocent child connected to a internet smile
lured inside details parting to feed the vile"
Thas a tight intro the piece... shit just lured me in, made me read the whole thing man...
Keep doing your thing dawg

Peace