iight this here be something totaly weird that just came out of my pen

i smell nothing
nothing at all
air penetrates throu my nose
scentless and thin
creating invisible waves
shooting thou out this space
yet no scent on its drift
only with emotion
my brain will pick smells

happyness breaths in nice, easy
lighting up the heart
bringing in fond memories
truly warming my soul

anger cracks, drys the nose
burning like fire going in
slows the pulse under my skin
eating away my interiour

sadness is hardly noticed
until it reaches my vibrant beat
for it kills softly, slowly
till it hardly sings at all

the most beautiful smell
is that of new found love
i cant begin to discribe
wonderful effects it does provide
beyond any spoken words

i wished i smelt anything
anything at all
but my heart emotionless
my mind undecided
hate you had against me
produced a swift sadness
my heart could not over sing
now a limp body
spralled on the floor
trying to take in a smell
when because of hate
i cant breath anymore

~Tera~
DONT HATE

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even tho it didn't rhyme it was pretty tight i liked the structure and the over scripture was tight nice work

Pft, this isn't the medieval ages. You don't need to use a pen, we have these things called keyboards now. And... uh... not funny.

Anyway, this was a good read. A bit off the top I see. The first verse for instance, I would take as being literal. As in, you be smelling stuff and yet you aint able to smell anything.

But then you go off on emotions. And the imagry I have in my head is of a happy healthy woman slowly changing into a crumbling statue of empty salt. It just seems like entropy.

Then you speak of love, and for a glimpse things seemed well again. But as it happens you speak of not having love, and things in my mind just seem to atrophy again.

Personally, I can really feel the imagry in this peice. I dunno about others, but I could "see" what was going on.

~Shalom~

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

thx both for taking time to reply


~Tera~
DONT HATE

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i liked this piece it was short but well structured keep droppin.peace out baby girl.

uppin

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