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Old 09-07-03, 05:28 PM   #1
Provoked Images
Just call me your Savior
 
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To look at one's self...

IP: E5B4 6C1D

i can not beat myself

i reach but no higher will my fingers touch tha stars

for i have reached and felt

tha tear of a God drip from tha heavens

i have watched and pondered

but no answer will penetrate my senses

i move through, instead, into my soul

but it is too dark to see

thus...i walk blinfolded and hit my heart

but it beats no more

as i walk tha path imbedded in my mind

tha shadows move and dart

and they tear open my thoughts to reveal myself to myself

i do not understand

will you help me?

i don't believe you will as i watch through my deep portals

known as only "eyes"

but my eyes are shut

thus i turn around to walk straight back through tha veins

until i reach my limit

then i melt into myself and am once again...

REBORN...
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Old 09-08-03, 10:57 AM   #2
Provoked Images
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uppin!
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Old 09-08-03, 12:25 PM   #3
Smooth JT
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your poetry is from the heart and I respect you for that. It's even easy for me to understand and to see from your point of view.
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Old 09-08-03, 07:35 PM   #4
Provoked Images
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uppin!! from some real peeps...
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Old 09-08-03, 07:44 PM   #5
filed
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iight

i liked this here, it seems like something new, different then what ive seen you write before, but its nice.

the flow was good, it kinda seems like one of those soul reading ones ( not quiet sure what its called )

your vocab fit the piece, didnt try to put in big words that didnt fit, they all went nicely

the first line got me hooked it was a great opening line, and your ending was my favorite part, its not one that leaves you hanging like the door closed in front of your face, locked out from where you feel it should have gone

my love

~Tera~
DONT HATE
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Old 09-09-03, 11:49 AM   #6
Provoked Images
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uppin!!
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Old 09-09-03, 03:17 PM   #7
Madd Preacher
~OrIgINaL eXeCuToNeR~
 
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uh huh...ma man..this was nice...purely felt fa sho....ya flow was there...not a rhyme but a flow in words if you get my meaning...i liked the internal view of self...as ofcourse...self portreyed poems are among ma favorites...and this b one now....

word ma nig...you held it down....



i have watched and pondered

but no answer will penetrate my senses

i move through, instead, into my soul

^^as of course no words come from gods but from within...thats nice that you incorperated that into this...


igido
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