yo im the illest when im on the pills/
burnin the hoes on my barbecue grill/
im the last one listenin to bad influence/
ill break inta ya house ,a big ass intrudence/
smokin weed until the early hours of the mornin/
its rainin outside,mutha fuckers pourin/
offer u the jay and what did ya say?/
nah nigga ill pass, smoke it anutha day!/
u know what im gunna do when u say that shit/
cut ya up on the bench into little fuckin bits/
so now im shootin up the kryptonite/
got me spittin these rhymes outta site/
all i wanna do when i go outside is start fights/
man this weed is good but the paranoia really bites/
cut ya balls off then go and chuck em in the lake/
all you can shout out nigga is "yo fo fucks sake"/
niggaz know i luv to hate/
jus wish i waz rappin in the united states/
im gunna lewer ure bitch over here, she gunna get raped/
stickin guns in ya face plus the deuce deuce/
try to fix sum shit wit u, yo lets settle the truce/
im gunna start rappin and try to get the respect/
cus the rhymes im spittin u know u cant correct.

~NiShaL~
-2003-

this was basic stuff, the vocab needs uppin, there was no real subject matter explored here, you need direction in your lyrics, also add some multis and try to create some kind of imagery in your rhymes.

start elavating.