|
|
|
|
| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
09-13-03, 01:21 PM
|
#1
|
||||||
|
Guest
|
Clueless
IP: 3368 8661
Got so many rhymes in my brain, its bout ta overfill,
I release some of the pressure, unload from my grill, Takin asprin by the hour, i have to ask a higher power, Persue this rap shit, or start sellin ounces by the hour, I dont have a fucking clue, lord what should i do, Whatever i do, im gonna have to subdue, Thats just the way i am, thats the way i work, I make my fuckin money with a smile or a smirk... |
||||||
|
|
09-13-03, 01:23 PM
|
#2
|
|||||||
|
Middle Weight
|
IP: CEF5 716F
U can do better. It was aight. Not that good and not that bad. Post longer stuff next time. Ppl will wanna read ur stuff more. Later.
|
|||||||
 
|
|
|
09-13-03, 01:31 PM
|
#3
|
|||||||
|
..Soft Focus..
|
IP: 608A 4341
good but EXTREAMILY SHORT lol, try to make it longer like deadlyspitta said...keep workin though the flow was good juz try elavate like the rest of us..peace
__________________
Open Mics The Weathers Art http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673 My Teenage Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850 Secluded http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851 Open Your Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461 |
|||||||
|
|
|
09-13-03, 01:32 PM
|
#4
|
||||||
|
Guest
|
IP: 22BA 15F6
needs to be longer, more structured. you used the line "by the hour" twice. get some multi's in there too. it was absolute crap, but you are learning, so don't get disenchanted. you have potential. elevate and try some more.
1 |
||||||
|
|
|
09-14-03, 02:30 AM
|
#5
|
||||||
|
Banned for being stupid
|
IP: 95C5 EAD6
it was aight, u need to make it longer, if u cant think of shit to write about ur topic than change it cause u really need more length to rhymes, but anyway the vocab was aight, the wordplay was ok, and the flow was good. just keep postin, and puttin thought into ur rhymes cause its when u do that when youll elevate.
|
||||||
|
|
 |
| Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Linear Mode
