From The Begginig Of Time Chriest Has Been Are Hero
Our King The Blesson When Life Was At Tempatures Of Sub Zero
He Kept Our Wishes High Determind To Make Evil Cry
NonIrational Peace Keepers Ruling The Gods in The Sky

God may have created Adam an Eve the first two Human Beans on earth that could breath/
he was the man known as the ruler wit a magical son that was about tobe conceaved/
December 25, our guide died, for the love of others took his blood on the cross/
our hope for survival was up in flames the tears in our bodies were lost/
but before he died he lead our lives he was an still is watching us from above/
the man who didnt no lust but was made of love he couldnt sin gentle as a dove/
He was the bread that came from heaven glorified our lives with physicque/
listens to our prays at night hopin we critique realin we are all unique/
he may not speak back but hes our border from evil the reason why we dont see the devil/
the cross bein his sybol to keep us out of trouble but yet he cant hold onto the ocasional rebel/
eye for an eye tear for tear jeezus pronunced in the bible that we shud all live humble/
yet we gravel for lust the devils beaten on us we treat life like'a royal rumble/

jeezus hear our prayers..your our life savier..
wash away our tears..dont judge our behavier...
some of us our mislead..help us become unwanted for dead..

Our lord watching down on us, reachong out to help us hustlers, even for our sinnin/
i apoligize for my crimes i will be crusified in the end but for now i will try to become winning/
for chriest saik i wont make another mistake i wont comite sucide for the time i strive/
i'll stay alive pray yo by myside or watching me from heavon give me a hormonious vibe/
what i am about to do i will do quickly i'll take after you an obey the 10 comanments/
all in rightchinous of my conchisnes i'll leave behind a scripture in mine an your acomplishments/
angels ride north an south east an west but yet its you who watches me while i rest/
im'a ace my life its an own going test but i no i can bare the pain your my bullet proof vest/
tradition to lvoe who i pleed to help who may bleed is my tradition an jeezes wasnt fiction/
hes in all us we all holly an he bringin out capibilities from us soon thats my pridiction on holly scription/
blessed are you bessed as i, our dien spirite will rest in the sky all because of a creature pure from the beggining of time/
dislove this holly man it shall be falsy stated that he didnt comite a crime but a sucide to save us an guide us to our prime/

jeezus hear our prayers..your our life savier..
wash away our tears..dont judge our behavier...
some of us our mislead..help us become unwanted for dead..

For this i ask a question...life supposibly a blesson but why we always stresson/
on my hands an knees daily prayen you wont fail me but still i feel loads of tension/
we all gifts of god but we trapped in the climate we csnt adapt we all gunna be attacked/
the devils on my back i cant relax i feel the nails diggin into my cartiax pain comen as if i ate X-lax/
Suddenly i see a light the birth of the son who i named my self after the chosen one/
told me m-j put down that gun it aint gunna help you showed me the bible i said..."i see were ya comen from"/
tragic pray..it works like a witch an magic this aint no halloween tale it summin that happin in yah dreams/
the father an son who can cure any disease help at any oppertunity take away your screams/
i use ta believe in nothing, but my life was world war 3 i dfidnt hesitate i waited for the cmmand/
of the angels hand to pick me up from the swolling quick sand then place me back on good land/
now that i understand life is wutcha make it the pain i can take it n wen you feel the horrow/
just remember the 2 people are watchen over you they will bring light for you on'a tomorrow/
thank you lord for the blessons you have gave me, an for my baby that saved me from sanity let it end/
your have showed me the right path life is like math...take the heat an lust it equals us a.k.a love...A-men/


From the beggining of time you've been helpin our prime..
hearin our prayes swolling our tears thanks for bein here...
through 16 years of strugglin i finally feel something....
i a little bit of hard work an dedication..brings a lot of satisfaction..
thank you for lsitening to my prayers. god bless...

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

uppen for feed back...1

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

you had a tight concept, good vocab

nice shit man, like dat man said u had a good concept

1

thanks ye'all uppen for some momments

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

uppen for some feed back please...any comments...

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

yppen for some fuckin feed back dont sleep...c'mon

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

You Write Pretty Well...Gotta Shorten Those Bars But Man To Get Better Flow And Also Get Some Multies In There...The Writing Seems A Bit Unspittable...Get A Bit More Hip-Hop In There...Sounded A Bit More Poetic But If That Was Your Aim..Its Good...It Aint Bad..Just Keep Workin At It Mun...Pz...

__________________
<center></center><center>Click Here.</center>

aight orikle hit it with tha flow..................concept was there but ya dint get a good struc or flow................nice peace tho i saw where ya were goin withit

Yeah pretty much what they said. I was starting to get the feel for the concept, but lack of flow put that to an end. Ok on the vocab, and if this was originally a poetic drop, then good shot, but if it was supposed to be a flow, then just add some more flow, stir that shit up and drop again. Pretty good drop.

Laaate.

it wasnt poetic..i spit it an the flow seemed good to me wen i did it..the concept was a christian thing...i havent done anything like it so i made an attempt..but thanks for the advice i'll try it again some other time...uppen for some feedback on this peice...

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

dont sleep...gimme some feedback

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

uppen

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

i think the length of the verse is causin people to sleep, so next time u might wanna shorten it a little, anyway the vocab was good, the wordplay was aight, and the content was awesome. good post dude.