Im still here learnin and elevatin/
debatin, whether or not im the next satan/
thinkin about all of my deeds and crimes/
but im still spittin rhymes, thinkin of the good times/
when i was a little kid fearful and all/
when id go to the mall, afraid of nothin i stood tall/
but now shits happened and im startin to fall/
hopin the morgue wont need to call, so my parents dont have to walk down that hall/
im sick of changes their fuckin up my life/
i can only hope one day ill have a wife, before i decide to pull out my knife/
im dont only want bad changes, i want good ones too/
i want people to know my name instead of askin who, i want respect even if its from a few/

peace.....

Damn son ur rhymes is gettin better everytime i see them you is really elevatin away from the label of newbie. your rhymes is tight. i enjoy seeing then new ones you make- yog_dogg

Nice short piece............Good shit for a newbie...............Elevate on ur vocab , multies and find a better concept to spit about.........And you will get better , I got faith in you and you got the potential to become an iLL emcee..............Return da favour http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=80376

i was feelin the topic, you were short and to the point..i liked that last line the best, i can feel that, nice way to end the piece.

definitely keep at it, that's the only way you'll get better. Good verse.

good spit for a newbie.elevate your vocab,and multis,and work on imagery,other than that good drop.keep spitten.~1~

^^^yo thanx for the feedback youll, but where the hell is everyone else? i thought there was a shit load of people on this site but only 4 people respond to open mics. cmon yall quit sleepin on this.

yo good drop man. i dont think i need to say much coz those guys seem to have sed it. all i wanna add is that personally i wasnt feelin the flow in some parts. most of it flowed good, but some parts need a bit of tweakin. can u check out my new drop- History- (african dreams) thanx man- Peace

yo nice short peice, this site is full of slept on peices, everysingle one of mine have been slept on since ive been here. but jus keep doin what u do and if u need some critiquing im happy to do it, back to the peice, nice wordplay, bad flow at sometimes but that can get better, try making a longer peice, like a song with a corus, good luck man

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Corrupted Visions

Yeah, i liked the topic to this, and you worded it pretty well actually, short and straight to the point. You had some basic internals but your multi's and vocab could do with an uprise. Also, try to make your bars even syllable wise to perfect your flow.

This wasnt too bad though, keep at it bro.

Eace-Pay!

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W o r d P e r f e c t

yo thanx for postin yall, but im still uppin, cmon everyone please hit this up!

Yeah man this was a nice short peice, it was a good read i thought, you worded it pretty good as well, Your flow was alright you should try to even the lines though to support the flow better and try to add more mutlies, good drop though.