sometimes i just dont wanna take this shit no more
i just want to give it all up and fall to the floor
just forget it all and and throw it out the door
i dont wanna go on
my final card is drawn
i got no cards to play so now i fold
the dice have been rolled
there no point to go on cause i feel so cold
i live for nothing so why do i try
it seems like everything is one big lie
yea my time is nigh
so i dont want to waste no time
everything looked so good at first but that was my minds eye
i didnt want it to be like this but im at my end
but i got so many scars that no one can mend
yea my life sucks but im not tryin to bitch
theres some things that you cant comprehend
but thats just me so dont try to understand
i dont wanna hear your shit so you dont wanna hear mine
but thats alright ill be dead so im just fine
here i go and thats the bottom line

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this is my first post...please give some feedback...thanks

Very nice for a first drop.

i live for nothing so why do i try
it seems like everything is one big lie

^^^this is my favorite line. your rhymes were tight, and the rythm was definetly there. The message was very easily understood. Keep it up.

peace

__________________
We are the music makers,
and we are the dreamers of dreams.

Great drop for the frist peace. Ez to understand. It flowed great with no mistakes i see of. good shit keep it up

yo I liked this, although I felt like it lacked a lil on vocab, but the emotions were felt.
Maybe you can try to rewrite it and just go that lil deeper, I was actually waiting for darker poem or sumthing.
but anywayz, much respect, keep droppin

peace

iight

this was a good first drop, just work on it some more, and soon you'll be amazing us and yourself with poems that come out of your pen you never relised

just work on your vocab and stucture some

~Tera~
DONT HATE

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good first drop, i found some of the bas were to short for the long ones but all in all great read. keep it up..an elavate..peace

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Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

It was quite atmospheric. In the sense that you wrote it in such a blunt way. Just laying it down with such apparent truth. Hard hitting at that.

But what made me call it 'atmospheric' was the ending. that rounded it off well...

...resp...