Purposely Embedding Things, With Perfectly Squared Purple
Suddenly The Wedding Ring Turns Into The Squared Circle
So I Compare Hurdles;Try To Decide How High I Should Jump
Legs A Plastic Stump, Fail Miserably Where I Should Triumph
Sailing Insistantly, The Assembly De-Railing Consistantly
Instantly It Comes To Me, Why Would God Want To Run From Me?
Guns for free, To Shun The Sea, Sitting Sadly, Try To Be
Death's Shroud Where Breaths Found;Feet Stick To Ground
Fresh Outside; South Flies Reveal The Inside Is Brown
Gourd Of Flat Fires, Double-Edged Sword Of Satire Dulls
Think With Shattered Skulls While Your Neurons Feed Gulls
I Dropped My Double Stitches, So Now I Sow The Seeds
Pantsed Sir Lancelot, So Much For Pure In Heart And Deed
What Do We Need? Necessity Is The Mother Of Invention
Jesus Confessed To Me, But I Wasn't Paying Attention
It's An Honourable Mention; Not Any More Or Any Less
Everyone Return The Pretention Without A Word To Bless
Racing In The Street, Religion Is Defacing My Defeat
My Mouth Is All That's Left And The System Had Me Beat
Within An Inch Of My Life, But They Missed And Took A Seat
How Many Letters Will Get Her To Understand The Word Better
Being A Jet Setter, Will Let You Tear It Apart Together
Bear It To Heart Together; Take It Down To The Tricks
Bag Full Of Bricks Will Make You Frown For The River Styx
Take It Back A Couple Seconds, Play The Tape In Rewind
Try To Teach Knuckles Lessons, Forcing You To Re-find
Yourself In The Music, Abuse It, Make The Father Hurt
So Choose It With Care, And Stare At The Moutains I Burnt
And The Lessons I Learned, But We Don't Mention That Part
In Detention At Heart, But Truthful Dissention is an Art
So I Become What I Create; Lips Unmoving, But I Debate
My Face Is Only Paint, Leaving You Lonely And Sedate
It Made You Faint;Plastic Ground Is All Your Back Found
Lego Blocks Falling Down, Faster Than Bagged Kittens Drown
Pulling A Frown, Out From My Dresser Drawer Full Of Smiles
As My Plastic Family Scatters Broken Across The Floor Tiles

wErd?

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

i didnt say id blow your dick off, hoe.

__________________
W o r d P e r f e c t

^yes you did
I found it funny.
siggable, even.
I might get rid of it.

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

What Do We Need? Necessity Is The Mother Of Invention
Jesus Confessed To Me, But I Wasn't Paying Attention

Pulling A Frown, Out From My Dresser Drawer Full Of Smiles
As My Plastic Family Scatters Broken Across The Floor Tiles




^wonderful lines..the highlights of this piece..


there was soom extraordinary multis as well as metas in here, at several points i found myself so eager to see the next line that id skip a few..

the only i problem that i saw with this was the sceme.. i.e.


So Choose It With Care, And Stare At The Moutains I Burnt
And The Lessons I Learned


the short time span that it takes to reset your eyes on the next line throws off the whole flow of the piece...


or maybe im just dumb.

Nah, i got that a lot too - which is weird, but it seems to do it with all short lines pieces. = /

__________________
W o r d P e r f e c t

Bah i already told u most on aim/ur battle with camiswack lol *please dont hurt me*
I really liked your scheme/concept, qutie gripping
Your steezle was dopeezle, umm i liked your
Approach in this, and ur metas about being a real
Lego boy was dope under, you were over this
Lol duno if that made sense, liked your concept
Rhyming word 1, rhyming word, rhyming word 1
Like at teh start how that went i liked it you
Shuld and not try go line for line u know just let
Yourself write, but like this was doperness any who
And i liked this piece, and camiswack is bitchin about
Me not votin for him, just cause i'm not in his
Voting crew ring circle i'm too corrupt for his ass........


reply to mine slob
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81728