RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 09-29-03, 07:44 AM   #1
Dirty Sally
Light Weight
 
Dirty Sally's Avatar
 
Posts: 266
Joined: Sep 2003
From: Minneapolis
Status: Offline
Text Record: 4-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
TRAGEDY featuring WORDPERFECT

IP: F19F D969

DS:

The day's first light creeps through the window
Rays of sun soon outshine the candle's dim glow
Visions of gunfire expire I wake drenched in sweat
Hoping he doesn't see the fear when our eyes met
Shook off the premonition didn't heed the forewarning
Little did I know we'd share our last kiss that morning...

WP:

...All I herd was a blast-the last thing I saw was my life flash-
now I picture the heat turnen me to ash-
clasp where the bullet crashed, gasped for air with none to grasp.
Fell to the hands of my loved one-
I thought love couldn't die but I was stripped from mine by a nine gun.
It can't be done.....
Staired at your eyes-only to realize-this would be the last time.
Drift to another place-the first id seen your face-and
Trace The lines to the last I would.....damn what's the purpose of faith?
To be defaced- laying disgraced-
as they close my casket they close my lifes chapter plus close the case.
Dealing with mixed feelings....i know my time is over-
But I don't want to go without repaying what owed her..
Coughing up plus my body is catching the chills-
But the warm thoughts of you couldn't be killed.
they may take me away from this world but not my girl.
sitting there humble-words stumble to mumbles.
So much to say but time isn't on my side-
but death is...so I give you my last breath before I die.
Loosing air supply-how can i try to show you how my love applies.
How can defy death long enough to tell you why?
I gave all I could cause I knew you would....
And I never stopped loving you let's just get that understood.
Loosing feeling in my hands and legs-
Starting to turn faint in my head-
the last thing I herd was "I know and I love you" the last words you ever said...

DS:

...I got the fatal call that night I rushed to the crime scene
I ran to my honey it took all I had to supress my scream
My eyes saw my worst fears I didn't think I could take it
Seeing the love of my life knowing he might not make it
I followed my first instinct I held your hand in mine
Pulled your head into my chest said baby you'll be fine
Felt a sudden sense of peace radiate from your eyes
And for a moment I swear you heard my soul cries
Your physical being left the earth and it started to rain
I kissed your forehead and said your soul still remains
To give me comfort in my grieving and to wipe my tears
To reassure me when I'm in doubt you'll always be near
On the third day loved ones gather to pay their respect
And I am no longer in a daze but I still feel like a wreck
I whispered a prayer as you were lowered and laid to rest
Dear God keep him with me until it's my time to go next.....
__________________
What the fuck is this?
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-29-03, 08:15 AM   #2
WORD~PERFECT
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Joined:
Status:
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 19AF 50C1

PERFECT MAMI YOU DID REAL GOOD ON THIS
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-29-03, 08:41 AM   #3
/:Ayura:\
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Joined:
Status:
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 2B63 E9DE

damn definately feeling this peice, pretty sick and a good topic to flow off.

Quote:
The day's first light creeps through the window
Rays of sun soon outshine the candle's dim glow
Visions of gunfire expire I wake drenched in sweat
Hoping he doesn't see the fear when our eyes met
Shook off the premonition didn't heed the forewarning
Little did I know we'd share our last kiss that morning...


opening verse was good, and was kinda interesting when it got to the premonition part. as always word-perfect killed it with the strong rhyme scheme. wanna collab Sally?
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-29-03, 03:04 PM   #4
Menik
Word.
 
Menik's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,017
Joined: Aug 2003
From: Mifflinburg, PA
Status: Offline
IP: 63D7 39EF

Yeah this was a good peice, it was a good read as well, the flow for this peice was good, the content was good, the topic was good as well i thought, overall id say it was a good peice, keep dropping.
Send a message via AIM to Menik Send a message via MSN to Menik   Reply With Quote
Old 09-29-03, 05:18 PM   #5
Dirty Sally
Light Weight
 
Dirty Sally's Avatar
 
Posts: 266
Joined: Sep 2003
From: Minneapolis
Status: Offline
Text Record: 4-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 850B 95B3

Sure we can collab. PM me.

uppin...
__________________
What the fuck is this?
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-29-03, 10:29 PM   #6
Dirty Sally
Light Weight
 
Dirty Sally's Avatar
 
Posts: 266
Joined: Sep 2003
From: Minneapolis
Status: Offline
Text Record: 4-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: F19F D969

^^^uppin
__________________
What the fuck is this?
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-29-03, 10:56 PM   #7
gotaloveforrap
Banned for being stupid
 
gotaloveforrap's Avatar
 
Posts: 497
Joined: Sep 2003
From: Phoenix, AZ
Status: Offline
Text Record: 3-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: A549 F087

that was fuckin tight, sally ur openin verse was a great start to the topic at hand, u did a real good job, i was feelin ur flow and vocab the most, good job, and of course wordperfect ripped shit up, the wordplay and rhyme scheme were off the hook, great collab, keep it up.

yo if u have the time can u hit up this post?
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=82558
thanx

peace.....
Send a message via AIM to gotaloveforrap Send a message via Yahoo to gotaloveforrap   Reply With Quote
Old 09-29-03, 11:01 PM   #8
Mr.Christensen
Fuck You, I Rhyme Better
 
Posts: 2,488
Joined: Aug 2003
Status: Offline
IP: 7CA8 0B26

i wonder... this looked alot like something me and ST did...
kidding, good drop by both
sally u coming up girl.. that 1st verse was ILL
WP...hmm... yea... keep doing what your doing... still dropping fire each time

ya wanna 3 some... um... you know what i mean...
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-30-03, 12:11 AM   #9
Otherwordz
Banned: Compromised Account
 
Otherwordz's Avatar
 
Posts: 865
Joined: Sep 2003
From: Crown Heights, Crooklyn,11203
Status: Offline
IP: 4577 CD9A

Quote:
Originally posted by The Realist
ya wanna 3 some... um... you know what i mean...


hey...that's my line...lol...j/k...Sally'z all mine...but...anywayz...this piece was off the meat rack...both of y'all are reppin' the fam well...and Sally...you and I gotta "collab" sometime
Send a message via AIM to Otherwordz Send a message via Yahoo to Otherwordz   Reply With Quote
Old 09-30-03, 02:32 AM   #10
WORD~PERFECT
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Joined:
Status:
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 19AF 50C1

ATLEAST PEOPLE SEE SHE GOT SKILL THAT IS IMPORTANT AND SHE DID ANOTHER FANTASTIC JOB
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:41 AM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.