http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81826
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81732
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81848
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81844
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...8302#post798302
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...8229#post798229

Disrupted corrupted ethics with dislectic unexpected prefix,
A fix.. thats endless so they lay pretending pre mending
the c section of the no 1 a-b selction, alphabetical chronological
un responsible stupid guilty grim face looking at me clueless
all these beckoned questions have me expecting that the rest is
restless with the lead weapon proof vest is the lure to the gas
like chromers to aspestos, with the toixc chemical amount of
a kill soul now i'm goin to feel in control how with my real roll
of clouds, on the 9th one right now i'm about the boogie bang
disco with the wrist foes writing on risk blows and when the
fist blows, i'll be the first cat to take action on counter flag lengths
with bounty statements cause i roll with the minumum wage pay checks
its a missionary mission to relay debts so the day gets, fuckin
painful to the inner child which is missing bitching itching while
i'm wishing that this un written competition for the most delicious,
flavored flowing channel water canel with the dehydration tolerance
of a cammel, holding my panels automated lifestyle of the instruction manual.

Chorus:
I'm talking about those shinanigan filled hooligans,
[Teen ragers with the heart of team rapers and a
rebel cause of fiend capers with mean papers]
I'm walking about that shin flagging distilled fools again,
[/b][Teen ragers with the heart of lean scrapers and a
devil cause of gene daters with steamed haters][/b]
I'm chalking around that tin dragon that killed rules my friend.

Reading the instruction of my destruction, what do we have hear
a filthy magazine with un truthful tragic fiends, oh a picture speaks
a 1000 words then a flim clip must speak a million worlds, a
Holograms would speak in dimensions each with an alternate vortex,
Channel fans could speak in mental comprehension each wich is chargeless,
With the motive of a 10 corrupted philosifers, with a pinch of gosspiers
and the heart of gophers, so then the filed yeilds with crops i'll be the one
digging up my props untill the harvest stops, then i can farm an ocean
of hardworked devotion which will all be lost with a personal explosion.

Chorus:
I'm talking about those shinanigan filled hooligans,
[Teen ragers with the heart of team rapers and a
rebel cause of fiend capers with mean papers]
I'm walking about that shin flagging distilled fools again,
[/b][Teen ragers with the heart of lean scrapers and a
devil cause of gene daters with steamed haters][/b]
I'm chalking around them tin dragon that killed rules my friend.

Attacking with the privlaged scrimmage of a urban pilgrimmage
this is a grim age with a film stage, that consists of *lights*
*camera* then followed by a mass media massacre hey isnt
death fun while your child hood is flashing ya......................
I wish this word was full of crystal pistols [why is that]
So when then the trigger's pulled with a fist full the wishful vibration
domio effect would counter react on your fist fool [why is that]
So the bullet exits gets deflected and when it's reflected from the
next kid the barrel flips to grip you and and pierces your skin fragments unexpected

Chorus:
I'm talking about those shinanigan filled hooligans,
[Teen ragers with the heart of team rapers and a
rebel cause of fiend capers with mean papers]
I'm walking about that shin flagging distilled fools again,
[/b][Teen ragers with the heart of lean scrapers and a
devil cause of gene daters with steamed haters][/b]
I'm chalking around them tin dragon that killed rules my friend.

god damn this wasnt a song, this is an event
you went all out here
flow was on point, vocab was top notch
mulits lacking (i like mulits) but it was a great drop

what are all the links up top... other things u did?

if you would be so kind
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=82007

p.s. i hope u didnt mean me when u said people give bad feedback
*look at what i typed*
shit.. you probably did... sorry wont happen again

no offense the realist?!?!!?! lacking of multies WTF??????????
90% of the time ppl complain about me having too many multies...
well to each his own.........................

fuck it i felt bad.. you did give me a good feedback
here we go

the 1st verse was canabis-esque as in it had tons of big words and about 1/4 i didnt know so i was lost on a few lines..

hook (chorus)

Teen ragers with the heart of team rapers and a
rebel cause of fiend capers with mean papers

i like lyrical tounge twsiter.. hook was good but once again few words i didnt understand

2nd verse

With the motive of a 10 corrupted philosifers, with a pinch of gosspiers

loved it^^... less big words= more understanding of what you were saying... i liked this one more.. i can understand it

3rd

So the bullet exits gets deflected and when it's reflected from the
next kid the barrel flips to grip you and and pierces your skin fragments unexpected

personally i wouldnt use defelected-reflected in the line like that... they seem to say the same thing and it makes the line look forced and weak

Hope i made your standards

if you would be so kind(chose a random one)
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=80134
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81665
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=80529
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81183
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81616

mechanics here...especially concering the flow..was wonderful. i especially like the hook and am interested in hearing an audio from you..


the thing i didnt like about this was that sometimes it seemed as if you would just flow just to flow...words that should be changed and/or removed popped up on many occasions..


but nontheless, this was a great piece...

Decent shit.......
Probably the best newbie open mic i've read in a long while.Props and respect....
1

umm i think someone didnt read my sig^^^^^^^^^^^^^

thnx for the replies..............................

a 1000 words then a flim clip must speak a million worlds, a
Holograms would speak in dimensions each with an alternate vortex,


digging up my props untill the harvest stops, then i can farm an ocean
of hardworked devotion which will all be lost with a personal explosion.

I wish this word was full of crystal pistols [why is that]
So when then the trigger's pulled with a fist full the wishful vibration
^quotable bits

liked this was a good read....flow was on point thru out
vocab good like usual
topic was good as well....felt what u were saying
but i think dez said it best about the uneccesary words popping up....u do have a tendency to include words just for rhymes sakes..
other than that
keep it up man

"u do have a tendency to include words just for rhymes sakes.." naaa no really i keep telling u thats not the case
i will write once a day, when i'm zoned in, and i dont think when i write u know i just keep writing, i write from the HEART unlike most ppl here

Go to your gay thread in the Lounge about Camarac. HaHa

Up fuckin ing.......................

Aight, you was on point. Overall your lyrical ability is among some of the nicest I've seen on here. Maybe it's a little too wordy for me but then again, that's my opinion.

~yep~