Masta C:
With all this pain, turning to hate, and I cant take-it, I don’t think I can make-it, to the next day..
Cause its just to much, every things in a rush, cause people cant stop to think about what they say..
My life is tied with lies, its hard to find the truth that lies beneath the lies, cause of all the broken trust..
Its out of control like a wild fire, and every body’s a liar, so I cant concentrate will all the fuss..
And no body thinks before they-act, so they just turn they-back, so your left alone…
Taking hits from all these bitches, but I keep on going like im some kind of drone…
Endless days upon endless nights, I put up a weak fight, letting all this shit hit-me-hard..
So I get emotional stress, I guess, its not for the best, to let everything pick-me-apart..
And I just sit there, without a care, and just let everything take-me-down…
I say things I don’t mean, I guess that’s why its so obscene, and why everybody hates-me-now..

Gene Pool:
with all this trust blinded waitin for it to unfold, but it won't, so I just sit here and wait, slowly getting old/
I should be gettin bolder with each passing day, but I just get colder, as this sweeping breeze blows this way/
and I just can't put up, left out astray, with all this lost love, and a heart full of hatred pain/
wasting away, I grow frial, soon turn to dust, to just be swept away, y life has to be this way/
is beyond all that I can explain in one lifetime, cuz the grasp I try to latch, just drifts and slips away/
feel the beatened heat, from the sun as the light tries to give into me, but darkness takes the beat/
as I lay here in my box, dozing into a sleep while livin out the life on the streets/
ppl will never believe u me and the rest of the bums that try to beat their battered beefs/
cuz life was just never meant to be, in total peace and harmony/
instead all we see, is corruption, the kind that lingers but we disgracefully deny any of these facts, so we just sit here and lie/
politics keep us strangled and dangled under these straps, cuz we never seem to read close enough between lines/
instead, were just left here blind, waiting for life to take us surprise, and then we die/

kinda depressing.... lol.... nah....
shit was cool for a keystyle, y'all get y'all point across pretty clear...
not this ain't too big on vocab and flow, but it's ok....
I got the message of it...
pretty descent...

-1-

uppin this for some more feedback ppl. thanx in advance.

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<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

<center>Corrupted Visions</center>

<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>

Hey man thanks for the feedback, keep it coming, its much appreciated, thanks.

uppin this for some more feedback please leave ur thoughts.

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<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

<center>Corrupted Visions</center>

<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>

yeah...the flow kinda throws me off a bit...like the subject matter though...seems like its a poetry piece and what not...plus...my opinion on pieces like this are that it is better to get to your point quicker and this one didnt really do it for me...but its a good keystyle...written would kill...

feedback

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=82853

Hey man thanks for the feedback, keep the feedback coming, its much apprecaited,thanks.

damn yo i was feelin this alot, made me think bout shit and thats what its all about u know what im sayin... it flowed in my head awkward at times but never really got out of controll so i was diggin that, the subject matter is what stands out, like layin ur pain on paper and shit... some DEEP shit... metaphors were good, and SKillz was nice.... i got it from the first lines of each flow..... thanks for postin this shit... i like seenin shit like this

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HK The Great

ait good subject.............to me i get a feeling like yall coulda kept writin and u shud have..........nice flow............a little bit better wordplay and metaphores wouldnt hurt............tight keystyle nonetheless....

peep my battles on front lines and my collabo wit my kru on open mic
thanks

holllllllla

thanx for the feedback ppl keep it comin and I'll be postin an open mic hopefully I'll have it done for tomorrow dun know what I'm gonna call it yet but I'll keep u ppl posted. if I do manage to post it tomorrow peep it out an leave me some feedback. thanx again for the feedback on this piece it's much appreciated thanx.

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<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

<center>Corrupted Visions</center>

<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>

Hey man thanks for the feedback, keep the feedback coming, its much appreciated, thanks.

fuck gene pool

fuck all yopu bastardz

what the fuck is ur problem man??? don't get all pissy cuz I fuckin bitched u out last time. just fuckin drop the shit and fuck off. I got no use for ppl like u.

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<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

<center>Corrupted Visions</center>

<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>