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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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10-12-03, 03:43 PM
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#1
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Guest
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Children In War
IP:
I wrote this about a documentry I saw in class. Yeah so I guess I'm taken a step out of myself and seein other peoples sorrows instead of mines all the time...damn near cried.
not my usual writes.. Here we go again… The pain will never end… Go away… I want to play and find another day… (Another day…) Who is that I hear-? Screaming and bleeding at my side. Is it mother? Is it father? Or could it be myself inside? What happened to the girl I’d use to see. She always had a pretty face. But I cannot shake the feeling that she’s roaming in a better place. PEACE…. PEACE… Where is the love? PEACE… PEACE… Somewhere up above… I look around… The world is falling-crashing down… Without a frown- Only a single tear… God cannot be found. Where is the man I use to see smiling back at me next door? All I see are dusty bodies with my blood dripping on the floor. CHILDREN IN PAIN…CHILDREN IN RAIN… CHILDREN WHO CRY…CHILDREN WHO DIE… CHILDREN WITH GUNS…CHILDREN WHO RUN… Children worth more… That will never live to see an open door… PEACE… PEACE… Where is the love? PEACE… PEACE… Somewhere up above… PEACE… PEACE… Where’s the rainbow…? SMASHED beneath the ground… Nobody knows…. |
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10-12-03, 03:53 PM
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#2
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Drop Of Genius
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IP:
I liked it a lot. Ya caught the emotion in a serious topic. It was a good piece. I enjoyed readin it and ya really put your emotions into it and it did it no harm. Good work
Peace!!! |
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10-12-03, 05:24 PM
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#3
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Sharp Perfection.
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IP:
iight
this was a good piece!! very sad and dead feeling it was short with simple cut lines made it a nice read and also made each line stick out to make you take in what it was saying it was a strong deep topic one that sometimes ppl ruin it when they cant open get their feelings, message across but it worked for you! ~Tera~ DONT HATE
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R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~ keep singing in heaven |
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10-12-03, 11:45 PM
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#4
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Atra Ludio or Hip-Hop?
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IP:
Not sure what to say.
On one hand, you showed some dramatic and technical talent with that emotional drop. On the other hand, you've got P.O.D. in your signature. I think I'll just hold my tongue on this one and make the hand sign that I did in fact like this peice of yours. ~Shalom~ |
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