RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases > Poetic Scriptures
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 10-12-03, 03:43 PM   #1
Poetic_Blue
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Children In War

IP:

I wrote this about a documentry I saw in class. Yeah so I guess I'm taken a step out of myself and seein other peoples sorrows instead of mines all the time...damn near cried.
not my usual writes..

Here we go again…

The pain will never end…

Go away…

I want to play and find another day…

(Another day…)


Who is that I hear-?

Screaming and bleeding at my side.

Is it mother?

Is it father?

Or could it be myself inside?

What happened to the girl I’d use to see.
She always had a pretty face.
But I cannot shake the feeling that she’s roaming in a better place.

PEACE….

PEACE…

Where is the love?

PEACE…

PEACE…

Somewhere up above…

I look around…
The world is falling-crashing down…
Without a frown-
Only a single tear…
God cannot be found.

Where is the man I use to see smiling back at me next door?

All I see are dusty bodies with my blood dripping on the floor.

CHILDREN IN PAIN…CHILDREN IN RAIN…
CHILDREN WHO CRY…CHILDREN WHO DIE…
CHILDREN WITH GUNS…CHILDREN WHO RUN…
Children worth more…
That will never live to see an open door…

PEACE…

PEACE…

Where is the love?

PEACE…

PEACE…

Somewhere up above…

PEACE…

PEACE…

Where’s the rainbow…?

SMASHED beneath the ground…

Nobody knows….
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-03, 03:53 PM   #2
LM
Drop Of Genius
 
LM's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,793
From: The promised land
IP:

I liked it a lot. Ya caught the emotion in a serious topic. It was a good piece. I enjoyed readin it and ya really put your emotions into it and it did it no harm. Good work


Peace!!!
__________________
HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002


  Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-03, 05:24 PM   #3
filed
Sharp Perfection.
 
filed's Avatar
 
Posts: 450
From: HELL!!....and yet you think im jokin
IP:

iight

this was a good piece!! very sad and dead feeling
it was short with simple cut lines
made it a nice read
and also made each line stick out
to make you take in what it was saying

it was a strong deep topic
one that sometimes ppl ruin it when they cant open
get their feelings, message across
but it worked for you!

~Tera~
DONT HATE
__________________
R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~
keep singing in heaven
Send a message via AIM to filed Send a message via MSN to filed Send a message via Yahoo to filed   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-03, 11:45 PM   #4
The Necromancer
Atra Ludio or Hip-Hop?
 
The Necromancer's Avatar
 
Posts: 817
From: Cottage Grove, Oregon
IP:

Not sure what to say.

On one hand, you showed some dramatic and technical talent with that emotional drop.

On the other hand, you've got P.O.D. in your signature.

I think I'll just hold my tongue on this one and make the hand sign that I did in fact like this peice of yours.

~Shalom~
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:25 AM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.