I'll overload ya pain 'threshold'..
Lock u in a freezer just to keep ya 'flesh-cold'.../

I'm cold but u'll be 'colder' afta i split ya skull wit diss 'boulder'..
Leavin bits stuck to ya face like an explosion of 'solder'.../

I overdosed on coke an it rushed straight to ma 'brain'..
I went 'insaine' when shit slowed down like 'max payne'...
Then i stuck my head out the window to feel the 'acid rain'....
As this 'pain' shot down a 'main vain' i screamed 'i just dont give a fuck' as i crashed in the 'fast lane'...../

Yo dawg ur not a 'hypercondriac' ur just 'accident prone'..
Your dick rydas'll be like 'where ma dawg at' when i short circuit this 'microphone'...
It'll seem like u've 'smoked too much crack' when i burn ya face wit my 'acid tone'.../

My power of 'telekenisis' 'releases' clinical 'obeseness'..
Sending emcees mind-states back to a 'foetus' if they 'beef-this'...
Nigga you can't 'beat-this' or 'be-shit', 'bite-this' an u'll lose ya life without a 'fight-bitch'..../

An the whole world will 'diss-you'..
If ya turn ma 'facial-tissue' into a 'racial-issue'.../

So wat im white, dawg ur a wack 'liar'..
DAMN!!!, all your whitey jokes just 'backfired'.../

I'll slit you in so many 'places'..
You'll be too embarassed to look at others 'faces'.../

Man your not a 'casanova', your an 'overdoser'..
Your days just loop 'over-an-over' like a 'rollercoaster'.../

My skills of 'naration' are elevating beyond 'examination'..
So hit the 'snare-an-bass-an' pass me the mic so i can brainwash this 'racist-nation'...//

yo uppin fo comments.....
go easy i've only been rapping for about a month or so.....
WORD UP...

yo com on some one plz comment..........

peace........

not too bad of a drop, pretty good read i thought, your multies were pretty good, it flowed pretty well i thought, your content was good too, overall a pretty good piece.

and if you could return some feedback...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=83050

yo thanx dawg....
i aven't been rappin too long...a month or so.....


yo uppin fo comments

what the hell was the point of this?
gay . gay. gay.


yeah.

__________________

ha ha wat u chatin bout dawg....look at urs....
only 4 lines that weren't even that tight for someone wit3224 post an 20-10 battle record...

hey yo im uppin fo comments an critique... dont just freepost sumin wit no reasons for it or just a diss...
peace...

werd that
it was ok but i mean there was no actual point in u writing this.....had no meaning in it
which doesnt interest me

yo it was just a keystyle.....i just wrote what came to my head while i was typin man....
peace...
uppin fo more comments....

ok to be honest i think others are right about the title etc not reallt suming up tha topic,but i do feel u had some good use of vocab and afew nice punches here,flow was also alright so jus keep droppin.

Peace

Koo for sumone das only been spitten for a matter of months!
goood lookin out on cratique'n my shyt too dawg.
its wun!!!!!!!!!

thought ya had some good vocab, but wot was the topic, it was un-original and lacked feeling, although you had the flow gion in places.............................Holla